The spies

I saw GEJ and the gangs touring Jerusalem like the spies sent by Moses into Cannan.

Later on i heard them talking in hush tones on how to take over the land and relocate all of us there.

The Aviation minister could however not guarantee the safe transporting of all the citizens by air which threw everyone into confusion. The CAN boss however calmed everyone down by suggesting he can provide an alternative route- The desert. In his words " Everybody go waka". Sensing the confusion written on GEJ's face, he popped out his swagga rod and said "this will lead us, trust me oga".
GEJ gave him a big hug and immediately issued an order for armoured chariots to be purchased for the use of the presidency, National Assembly, and PDP for the trip.

"What of the rest of the people sir?" Minister for transport queried.

"The country is broke, we cannot provide everyone with chariots" GEJ answered.
He continued "let them sacrifice. This is not a period for anyone to be comfortable....don't forget we still need money to settle these sturbbon lecturers when we get to the promised land. Infact if i have my way, i won't let them make the trip but i won't do that".

As i made a run out of excitement to start packing my luggage, i hit my leg on the bed's wooden frame.

So na dream?! Omg.....mschew....na dream i dey dream sha!

Eyebrowing

When you see some ladies, you go think say dem dey vex but na just their eyebrows dey give wrong signal. Dem don shape am so tey the thing don turn to their faces to a frown.

Some of una jus dey disturb God with prayers say make im send you life partners. All the ones wey im don send nko....no be strong face dem see wey dem run comot? They always say "haha that lady is never smiling" dem no know say her soul dey smile but na face refuse to.

If you belong to this tribe of Idiagbon, simply go and correct those sadistic eyebrows.


Allow God to rest o. Im don hear ur prayers.

Matters

1st matter-

Don't be decieved, what these 9ja musicians play at their shows is not LIVE music. All they do is play back their songs via the DJ's bigger speakers and lip-sync.
I think there are several reasons why most of them cannot do live shows:

- They know nothing about music.
- They cannot sing as most of their recordings are auto-tuned.
- They are lazy. Cannot devote time to rehersals.
- The lyrics to their songs are unintelligent.

I don't see why i would pay just to have a song i have heard many times played back to me in a hall.
Well, monkey no fine but im mama like am. I think their fans enjoy the entertainment bit, where these dudes jump about on the stage screaming while under the influence of whatever thing they have smoked. Some even go near the fans and offer them the pleasure of rubbing their privates. The fans also enjoy the pulling of scantly dressed girls up the stage and oral sex performed on them in the full glare of everyone. Photographers are strategically positioned just below the stage taking pictures of the private parts of these shameless girls. Satanic bloggers then take over from there splashing these pictures all over their sites with captions such as 'Girl went naked at Olamide's show in Birmigham'. I personally think it's disrespectful to treat your fans this way.

It's rather unfortunate that these 'DJ, track3' dudes are the ones getting all the raves and raking in the cash. Music in Nigeria has gone to the dogs.

I'll rather attend Saheed Osupa or Musiliu Ishola's show, atleast they play LIVE music with their band with some intelligent-laced lyrics.

2nd matter-

I think female musicians in Nigeria like Tiwa are still waiting for GEJ to mention it in his broadcast the need for them to dress properly while going on the stage.
Why wear a lace pant under a short skirt when you'll be performing on an elevated stage and photographers are below shooting your toto! What do you call that?  Is this a deliberate act or an over-sight?

It is part of the art for an artist to look comfortable and elegant while on the stage. Se won o ko yin niyen ni? Ewo ni ki e ma wo aso to tight bi condom with one hand on the mic and the other for pulling down the dress each time you move and it becomes revealing. 

Osi radarada. Una just get voice but no brain.

Seek help or die forming

Some pple dey dere dey envy you say you dey London. Dem no know say na ontop heater for room you dey dry your clothes.
No backyard, no balcony, no sun.
If to say dem know how many functions dat ur single room dey serve and how much u dey pay, dem go begin pray for you instead of envy.

But sometimes no be dem fault o. na you sef dey do yoursef o becos you dey give false impression.
When you go tell dem the kain job u dey do?
When you go tell dem say na your neighbour get dat car wey u dey take snap all the time?
When you go tell dem say sometimes you no dey comot tag from clothes you buy becos u go return am back to d shop after u don use am show finish to either get a refund or exchange?
You no get PS yet u dey follow dem update status when GTA V was released just to feel among. So why you come dey vex when ur bro say make you send ipad3.5 to am? Why you dey vex when your paddy ask you for note 3, abi no be you dey mislead dem?

Eniti ko ti jeun to fi toothpick s'enu? Is that faith or foolery?
Na you dey give wrong signal to your helper.
Dem go ask you why you no go work, instead make you confess say you no get work make dem help you go dey say you be self-employed now....say you now deal in cargo and shipping. Haa...aye e de nbaje lo pelu iro ati fake packaging.
Iwe awon agba ori 16 ese keji wipe : "j'ewo obun ki won le d'aso ro o." Verse 5 tun so wipe "enikan kii f'owo to ndun pamo s'abe aso." if you read further to verse 22 o tun emphasise e wipe "oku kii farapamo fun eniti o ma we ohun"

O ku si e lowo. But imoran mi fun e ni wipe LIVE A TRANSPARENT LIFE.

Instagram Billionaires

Instagram billionaires-
Drive fast cars
Sleep in mansions
Roll with celebrities
Blinged up to the teeth
Breakfast in Las Vegas, lunch in Abhu dhabi
Shut down shops from Milan down to Tokyo
Talk about money like they run thier own economy.

False evidences appearing real-
Scavengers in reality
Ride on london buses
Live in council estates
No wardrobe- it's wash & wear
Their earning's like a menstrual cycle
Instagram billionaires- photoshop lifestyle.

A P P E A R A N C E

So why would 2 persons who arrived at an event at the same time be treated differently by a stranger who was meeting them for the first time?

A P P E A R A N C E.

Don't you know that we are unconsciously teaching people how to treat us by the way we appear?
Appearance can be deceptive, no doubt, but it is the most commonly used factor in judging people.

Your appearance speaks before you even open your mouth to talk. And if it speaks poorly of you, it is almost certain that you'll loose your right to talk or be heard.

In 2006, i walked into the office of the station manager at Baker street station to sign off a key. As i got in, he walked up to me and shook my hands, complimented the jacket i was wearing, and asked how he can be of help? I told him i wanted the keys to the cleaners'changing room and he asked me with shock in his face what i needed it for? I told him that i work here as a station cleaner and i need to change. He said " oh my God! You don't fit that role you just mentioned to me". He took his time to have a little chat with me and at the end he gave me the keys and said "you don't belong in this environment".
What i find funny is that, it is in this same station that i have been rebuked severally by some of my colleages (especially the Ghanians) for "dressing too expensive".

I got my current job in 2007 by not saying a word at the interview. The guy who attended to me only said "i like the way you look and you start".
I know several people also have accounts of how their look (appearance) has locked/unlocked doors for them at some points of their lives.

You don't have to spend the worth of a house mortgage to look good. Whatever you buy, have these 3 things at the back of your mind:
- Good quality. Buy quality cry once. Buy cheap and you'll never stop crying.
- Fit. It does not matter how much you pay for the cloth, if it does not fit IT IS USELESS. Wear what compliments you, not what you think is in vogue.
- Suitable for the occassion. Every appointment or function has its dress code. So many people today wear costumes all in the name of following fashion trend. Leave stage clothes on the stage abeg.

I personally see spending to improve your appearance as a worthy investment which can open doors for you in high places.
Over the weekend i was discussion with a bro, who told me how he sets up meeting with his clients in posh venues, and even go extra mile to buy drinks or lunch. This tactic shoots up his value in the assesment of his clients and places him in good bargaining positions.
The environment where i work has taught me everything i need to know about the importance of appearance, carriage, and personality. If you score zero in any of these, it'll be a big struggle to get accepted in places that matters.

Looking good is not cheap so also are the favours it attracts to you.

I am the fest lady

- Mai dear can i sees the budget....how mush do you people donate to each and each?

- But why na? That's an Executive function and then the legislative needs to approve. Let them do their jobs...

- I am the fest lady. I am yer wife. Do you want to be hidings something from me in this govament?

- Can you tell the minsta of airport to close all flights tomorrow.

- But why na? The airspace belongs to everyone.

- I am the fest lady. I want to fly and i don't want any plane to hit my own.

- I want to siddon beside you when you are reading the speesh o

- But why na? That is only for the Presdent...

- I am the fest lady. Are you wants to be hide me now? You should be prouds of me.

- I want to build my own headquarters.

- Headquarters?! But why na...you know there is really no constitutional provision for the office of the wife of the presdent.

- I am the fest lady and i cannot be come here everydays to sit down and share your olfiz. It is now that you knows one constuzion after all the suffers i suffers for you?

Monster Hit

(No noise please. Studio in session)

It's yur boi A K I N...live in Ladafidi Studio.....
Ha ha ha.....yoyoyoyoyo-yeyeyeyeye
C'mon Engineer gbe soke...
Leggo

Shez got more curves than a race track
O tun m'oyinbo so bi court clerk
Wo b'aso se fit e bi condom
Standing higher than the rest lai wo platform.
Shez trully the definition of awesome.

(Coughs)

Gunner ni mi emi mo quality
Mo yato s'awon to nra liability
Omo j'omolo come prove yur ability
Elo lo fe gba, ma san fun e infinity

Yea...it's yur boi A K I N.....

Yor yor yor yor yor- ye ye ye ye ye...

Who says i can't write a moster track and blow 9ja hiphop industry? Lwkmd....

Find something better to worry about

For those of you worrying yourself over the River state of Assembly's issue, look over 1.8million youths join the labour market every year in Nigeria (quoting the financial minister, Okonjo Iweala)
I think that is worrisome!

Hear English wey that lawbreaker dey speak yesterday after his installation as the failed speaker? Is that the best person in the constituency where he came from?

No be dis same leaders say 16 is greater than 19?
No be dem talk say 5 is the 2/3 of 27?

ASUU dey strike pass thunder.
Office of the wife of the President is ruling the country.
The president dey tell us say make we no worry about Boko-something because they will go to hell as punishment for killing innocent children.
Most of these lawbreakers are EMPTY.

These are the type of things you get when fools are allowed to rule the wise. Everybody ma di foolishes (sic) ni.

The Pharaohs

Just meditating on this today:

Every Joseph needs a Pharaoh. Every Moses will face a Pharaoh.

As individuals, we could be both Joseph and Moses at different phases of our lives. It is very crucial we are able to recognise and differentiate between these two 'Pharaohs' because each one of them is to be dealt with differently.

One Pharaoh is a helper of destiny, the other is a destroyer of destiny. The failure to understand the season which you are in and the type of Pharaoh you are romancing with, will simply mean you are using the head of the cobra to scratch your nose.

The present value of women

Thanks to the musicians and club patrons for reducing the worth of women to mere (sexual) marketing tools.

You go see 2 guys and 7 girls for music video, na all the girls go dey naked dey shake their bumbum while the guys are properly dressed dey sing about dem derogatively.
The latest craze now is for artists to call female fans upstage to dance erotically.
(The last concert held by that idiot from Calabar recently in UK is the latest example that comes to mind. The lady that came up to dance BARED ALL).

For clubs, na free entry for girls, only guys dey pay. Dem dey use ladies do ipolowo oja. Club wey women no dey no dey get customers.
Se girls no understand wetin dem dey take dem do or wetin dem dey 'call' dem whenever dey hand them free entry leaflets to clubs?
How can guys be seeing things like these and still show you any respect? No wonder guys nowadays use ladies like tissue paper and throw them away.
Bo n'igba ba se pe igba ni won se ma ba na.

I wonder where all the 'woman' right activitists are? Instead of them to speak out on issue like this and enlighten these young ladies on how to maintain their dignity, dem dey where dem dey do meeting on how to get equal right with men at home, meanwhile the worth of women is dropping daily.

Well, a ti wo 'kukere' a de gbadun e.
A ti wo 'Gobe' (infact some cyber analysts sef talk say one of the babes no wear pata under the skin tight she was putting on) *smh
'Timaya' ati Wande coal and several others naa ti ko orisirisi....infact now e don reach level where nobody wan even watch video wey no get naked girls with XL yansh. Go youtube go see number of views on videos with good quality of music and educative lyrics compared to the noise and nakedness.

E ma jo lo o...eyin le nse yeye ara yin. Awa nfoju lounje ni.

Now i dey think, se na poverty or desire for fame cause am? How much these video vixens dey collect sef?

Yes....you wey dey ask say wetin be my own. I dey read your mind o. Yes i know say no be every woman go be like Funmilayo Kuti. No be every woman go be Mother Theresa. But before una crucify me, na just my thots i share o. I no stop anyone from doing wetin dem like. I just feel these are some of the reasons why ladies nowadays don't get the respect they deserve.

The sms

Guy: Hey babe am on my way now. Nothing can stop me from seeing you today my love. N O T H I N G!!!

Babe: Aww...that's so sweet. Am also expecting you...

Guy: You know i love you...

Babe: Are you serious? I love you too.
So which part are you now?

Guy: Few hours more to your place my love. I know you can't wait to see me. We'll paint the town red!

Babe: Yes babe...i can't wait. Just so you know..am on my period.

Guy: Ohhh sh*t i just ran into a pothole and all my 4 tyres exploded at once. I can't come again.

Babe: Ohh...can't you get a public transport or get a cab. You are very close.

Guy: I can't becos all thier tyres have exploded as well.

Babe: I am no longer on my period. I tot i was but it was just my pant running colours.

Guy: I think i can still make it....my tyres are all back in good conditions.

Health is wealth

I read a very sad news today about the passing away of a renown make-up artist who died as a result of complications after C-section.

I know the normal reaction of people would be that of shock; do people still die during or after C-section in this age and time with all the technological advancements?
Still in my state of shock, i thought about the several factors that could be involved in this shocking incident and decided to share.

- Ka sun ka ji, oore ofe ni. Never take anything for granted. Ile aye ti a wa yi sokunkun. We only talk about the things we see. So many things happen behind the scene- that is in the spiritual realm. There are so many things we can never find answers to, as to why they happen. Adura mi ni wipe aburu o ni kangun si wa.

- You can also blame the doctors for their incompetence or carelessness but before you do that, you might want to take a look at under what conditions they work.
Most of the clinics/hospitals are in abhorrent states. In some General hospitals, a youth corper is their resident doctor. No light, no equipments, no personnel, no ambulance.
I actually think doctors who rescue patients under these rotten conditions are miracle workers.
No wonder our politicians and elites in the society run abroad just to treat headache. Talaka o ri aye wa o.

- Lastly, the blame can sometimes be placed on the doorsteps of individuals. When a doctor carries out a test and advises on the course of treatment, people often times refuse and prefer to call their pastor, imam or herbalist. For example, a doctor says ''Madam, we'll have to do a CS because you cannot have a normal delivery''. The patient or her relative may refuse to give their consent, claiming ''i rebuke it...it is not our portion'' Not until when anointing oil and holy water have failed would they now agree that the doctor administers the treatment. Sometimes, it is too late to avoid the complications or salvage anything.
I am not condemning people who wants to exercise their faith, but do everything with sense. Pray and follow up with appropriate action. E ma gbagbe wipe Olorun naa lo fun awon onisegun oyinbo ni imo....so why are you refusing the solution He has provided? Don't delay or refuse treatment where you have access to one. It can be dangerous.

My speech cannot reverse what has happened. I only pray God to give the family of the deceased the fortitude to bear the loss.

The present menace: Bloggers

Na bloggers go finally set Nigeria on fire no be politicians.
These present day bloggers are evil. The way they fabricate lies sef dey fear satan. I dislike them so much!
Now we don move from 'i'm an actor/actress to i'm a musician ...now to i'm a blogger'. Why do we like to dey spoil everything na?

None of these foolish people have the passion or skill for blogging. They all flocked into it because of the money they can generate from adverts. Hence they'll write anything just to generate traffic to their lies-ridden sites.

See what is going on recently with OJB's donations. Somebody just wake up begin yern say d'banj donated N7m and the whole world dey pray for am. Can d'banj ever drop dat kain money? NEVER!!!
You guys are only creating confusion everywhere. Nomoreloss have been writing rebuttals on twitter to denounce all these false claims. D'banj did not donate N7m. Whizkid did not donate N3m. 2face did not donate N1.5m. Ini Edo did not donate N2m. Sooner or later, Nigerians will be calling for the head of Nomoreloss to come and account for this non-existing funds. Na so dem go damage the guy's reputation.
Also, 'public accountants' go don dey add up this money and literally genuine people willing to donate will keep their money once they think the amount needed have been realised. But na lie. Na so OJB no go get money to treat himself o.

Blogging....blogging....if you read grammer on some of these
sites sef you go just shake your head.
What is going on is a really sad development.

Isoro ilu yi po Olugbala gba wa o!!!!

How to become a celeb- Lecture 2b (Final part)

Part 2b- LIFESTYLE

Like i have earlier mentioned while introducing this section, this is where all the noise is. The only word i can use to qualify how you should behave here is NUISANCE. Do everything you can to be a public nuisance. That is the only way you can consistently be in the headline.

I'll give you a list of some of the demeaning behaviours you must constantly exhibit to stay relevant, but first let me tell you 2 most important steps you must take to solidify the foundation.

1. Get yourself atleast 2 bouncers. If you cannot afford the corporate ones, pick from the jobless boys who dey bend iron in your area. Package yourself well- they'll gladly want to be a celebrity bouncer. Wetin go cost you na money for okrika suits and shoes plus regular supply of weed and ogogoro. Promise them free regular VIP passes to A-listed events and even tell them if they behave well, they' travel with you to NY.
Having bouncers will allow you get away with so many of the atrocities you'll be committing. People go think twice before dem touch you.

2. You need to get a media hypeman. Don't fret, things are so easy now with almost everyone becoming a blogger. You don't need to pay a qualified journalist. Get a desperate blogger who can kill to have traffic on his/her blog to become your media aide. Make sure every little thing you do is in the news. Twitter, fb, instagram, gossipblogs etc. If u sneeze, make dem write am say u sneeze and a fan dey beg say make u allow her to lick your nose. Wow....see headline!!! You dey feel me?

So once you have these 2 things in place you can now start flexing.

Now you need to learn how to behave like a star.

- Be controversial. In your talk, behaviour, hangout etc. Find trouble, abuse people, diss other A-list celebrity.

- Even though you get house, pack and move into a club. Go from one to the other. Make sure you have personal keys to all the top clubs.

- Be reckless. Purposefully damage things. Slap people. Buy things and refuse to pay. Assault your female fans all in the name of being a celebrity. Make dem take pixs of you having sex with your female fans and post them online. If you get liver, release a sex-tape. To find oloso no be problem.
Get your blogger to lie about you in the news. Media houses will be falling over themselves to interview you to hear your own side of the story. At this point, make yourself unavailable- pretending to be busy. Make people so hungry for the interview. Then one day call the press and sell the story. No free interview o. SELL THE STORY. As you dey earn the money,dey blow am. No worry anoda one go come.

- Shows: Get late to shows. Keep dem waiting. This shows you are a big person. Big pple no dey arrive for appointment on time.
Get drunk and high to shows. Ordinary eye no fit face crowd. You need to be high to the point where you go dey see human beings like mosquito. No 4get ur sunglasses. It must be on.
I know you'll be wondering how you'll sing when you are high? Simple. Wetin you dey sing sef? No be your CD DJ dey play back to the crowd while you dey jump about? Na the pple wey pay money to come hear you go do the singing wey dey come hear na. You go just dey mention the first lines of the song and you point the mic to them to sing the rest. Na the time to comot your shirt be dis and reveal your torso. Move near make dem touch your body. Some no go bliv your 6packs if na e real....move near make dem count am.

For guys we no dey into guys...wey go don dey vex by now, just throw your jacket, shirt and belt(if e no cost) into the crowd for them make dem dey struggle with that one.
You leave the stage at this point. Show don end be dat.
Instead of going home, hit the club.
On your way from the club, get accident but make sure you no die. It's all to stay in the news.

- Taking photographs: This is another important aspect. You must learn all the finger signs. Always flash the latest sign for every picture.

- Most of the things in this section are repeated actions. Never leave the headline is the game here and you can only succeed in doing this by living on hypes.
If you buy jacket for Yaba for N4,000, multiply the money 3 times in $ and say na $12,000. Send a bottle of 501 to your blogger with a note saying 'A gift for you as i celebrate the purchase of my JONJO KOLASSI Magnum Jacket'. No need to put price. The desperate blogger when im don shack the 501 finish go write $21,000 for the price of the jacket and im go even say you buy 1st class ticket to go do measurement in Milan, add another 1st class ticket to go pick am up when e don ready. Before you say jack, other bloggers sef go carry the news and add their own join am. Na the only difference between a qualified journalist and all these desperate bloggers be dis. A qualified journalist will verify report before publishing.

- Change of team: Now when your profile don dey rise well, you need new faces around you. Starting from your girlfriend (one wey suffer with you when you get only 1 shirt) to your manager, producer and friends wey dey advise you rightly- they must all go! You don't need local people around you. You need rich friends. You need good looking people around you(no be pple wey una go do 3hrs photoshop on their pixs b4 dey look ok). You need a celebrity girlfriend. Scout private universities around, you go get a fresh blood for yourself. But make sure SHE IS YELLOW SKIN IF ATALL YOU CAN NOT GET A MIXED- RACE. Celebrities no dey black o. Na sign of sufferness and u fit dey loose shows- so u sef get to start to dey tone body to look fresh.

Awards: You seriously need lots of this to show you are relevant. The secret is this- YOU MUST BE READY TO BUY AWARDS. You must shell out big for this because e no dey come cheap. There so many people to settle- pressmen, djs, award organisers etc. No dey dere dey kid yourself say award na reward for talents o. Awards are to be bought!

- Charity: Try to dey do small small charity. But make it look big.
Gather money buy bag of rice cook for street urchins dem...and call the press on the day u dey go. When dem come pretend like say u no knw dem dey come. Infact tell dem not to capture the event and that u fit sue dem if you eventually read about it in the news.
That sort of attitude potrays you as a humble philantropist.
My guy, when appeal for huge donation arises, simply stay off the radar until the matter die down or the person wey dem.dey raise the money for kpeme.
After this, be the first to enter studio to do a tribute song.

- Last but no the least: My guy, you need to move closer to your ancestors. Enemies dey around wey no want you to succeed. You need to be traditionally strong. If you like call am juju.....but na spiritual protection me dey talk about. Make sure incisions dey compete with tattoo for your body. You need to insure yourself to survive.

Hype, hype and lots of hype is the game.

END OF LECTURE.

How to become a celeb- Lecture 2a

PART 2- THE LOOK

This is the second part of my lecture on how to rise fast to the top in the industry. In the previous lecture, we discussed important elements of the SONG, today i'll be talking on the STYLE and LIFESTYLE. After your song is out, you need to focus on these two important aspects to further raise your profile.

STYLE:
- You need to create a distinct look for yourself. You cannot look ordinary and expect people to look your side o. E no dey work like dat. Your look is actually the starting point.

*Hairstyle: You need a wierd hairstyle. Take your time, think very well and come up with a hairstyle nobody has ever done before. Make it very strange.

*6 packs: Listen, you cannot make it in this industry without 6packs. For the ladies, you MUST know how PACK.
Look it's not what you do in the studio that matters o...it's your pack. If success in the industry is judged by one's voice, dat GT guy wey dey carry guiter around no suppose still dey waka about for Amuwa Odofin. Na dem type suppose dey ride bugatti bcos dem get the talent but you see it does not work like dat. 6packs/packing the rack is very important.

*Clothes: This is another major selling point and you need to create a buzz with this. Tamper with colour blocking. Wear leather jacket in 42degrees. Wear raincoat in dry season. Wear jungle boot on suit. Wear ladies blouse. Head warmern in the sun. Hoodie jumpers in the scotching heat. Your trouser must not stay for your waistline o. Drop it as low as you can. So when you walk, you walk like a kingkong. Buy ones wey u fit. Borrow from friends wey sabi keep secret. Make friends with boutique owners to borrow clothes. Package yourself as a star and approach upcoming fashion labels to dash you clothes and shoes. Some of dem mumu, they bliv say when pple see their clothes for your body thier sales will shoot up. Capitalise on this...ur wardrobe go full.

* Sunglasses- Buy as many as you can. Different shapes, colours, sizes. Wear them 24-7. It must not leave your face o. Na how to know a celebrity be dat- dem know dey see their face.

Wristwatches: Same as sunglasses. You need to invest on this. But make sure all na Rolex (fake i mean). Wear 2 or 3 at the same time. Na d reason why God give you 2 hands be dat. If anybody ask you why u dey wear 3 watches at the same time, tell dem say each watch dey tell time for different geographical locations because you travel alot. You go see your profile shoot up.

*Tattoo: No tattoo, No shows. No shows, No endorsement. No endorsements, No money o.
You must put tattoo for every available space on your body. E dey pain i know but remember, no pain, no gain. Things you go write no need make any sense...just write dem bold. Let dem look like scars on your body. No do dose nice lettering ones o. Those ones na for ajebuta pikins dem. You wan show say you hard...so you need to dig your skin well.

*Blings: Whether you go rent, steal or kill....you need to get BLINGS. You must wear as many as you can on your neck at once. The more you wear, the more your profile is rising. Bling up so tey the kabiyesi for your town go loose im respect. Pple go begin hail you as royal.
Now these things cost but you don't need to wear the original. Dog chain, bicycle chain, rosaries, dat chain wey dey hold bath tub stopper...all these things they work just make sure you paint them gold and get pendants for each 1 of dem.
No blings, no respect.

*Rides: This one na the ultimate. Whether you go give contracts to armed robbers to help you steal o, or you go get one on hire purchase, or you go make friend with a dealer or find sugar mummy wey get plenty...i don't care. All i know is dat you need plenty rides. No be dem Toyota avensis or Nissan i dey talk o. Those ones no be motor o...na dose ones replace okada wey dem ban o. You need machines like Porsche, Range, Bently, G-wagon. And you need each one of dem customised. Put ya own plate number. Let pple sabi you at a glance!

(Stay tuned on this page for the part 2b- LIFESTLYE. Na here all the noise dey o. You must be loud, controversial and always stay on the headline).

How to become a Celeb- Lecture 1

Are you an aspiring pop-star?
Have you released singles upon singles yet you are not breaking into stardom?
Do you want your album to go platinum?

If you belong to any of these categories, i bring you good news. There is a way out. I will give you tutorials on this page on how to break into the no.1 spot.

Part 1: THE SONG

Simply include the following lines in your songs lobatan!

- Give it to me
- Wind am for me
- Go down low
- Dulling or no dulling (depending)
- Maga
- Counting money
- Ibadi e
- Dat thing
- Enemy
- You got me crazy
- Champagne
- Moet
- Henessy
- High
- Baby
- Bentley
- I like wetin i dey see
- I got money
- Enter club
- I don blow
- Haters
- Mention the name of your producer
- Mention your record label
- Mention your name (actually start with this. Won o ni gb'ogo e fun anoda pelzon o).

Now, this is the joker. Coin a meaningless word that'll become a slang. E.g Alingo. Use it as the main hook in the song.
If you can't find any, just cough 3 times ask d producer to add effect to the cough. O d'obe niyen.

If any of the above is missing, people no go buy your record o. Nkan ti awon aye fe gbo niyen o.

If after doing this some 'bad belle' people wey dey always form 'i too know' begin criticize your songs, tell dem to hug transformer (dat na even if light dey sef)...just tell dem say u no do the song for them. Tell dem say na CLUB BANGER.

(Stay tuned on this page for lecture 2-YOUR IMAGE. This focuses on how you should look and carry yourself.)

Sorry no donation from me

Ka le eleyoro lo naa ka to wa f'abo f'adie.

I am done with these fake ass celebrities, now i wanna talk to OJB himself and the likes.

Silver and gold i have not but even if i get *screaming* I WILL NOT GIVE.

Igbesi aye ti e ngbe ko ye ki won saanu yin ti e ba ni isoro. I have read comments from people who knew OJB and how reckless he lived.
Una dey think say pple no dey look una? Yes you earned good money as a producer/singer and you don tey for the industry. But you don use everything drink and carry undergrad oloso finish. Dem dey see you wella for chitta-your igbo joint. I even hear say you get more than one wife. See as everything come be now?

Sooner or later dem go say make we come contribute to treat Olamide when im get cancer- e dey smoke like railway now una dey hail am. Badoo!!!
Later dem go come say Dbanj get HIV and he need for money for treatment. Na stripper e take do him b/day celebration recently in SA o, una dey call am big boy. Eja nla!!!
Abi se na Tonto Dike i go contribute money give when i hear say she don crase finally? She's abusing drugs now everybody dey shout POKO BABY!!!

I mean if you people's impact in the society is a positive one we no go mind, but una don damage the lives of our youths finish with your useless songs and lifestyles. So ki wa ni anfani orogbo yin? A pa ko l'awe. A je o koro. A tun ko igi e jo ko se fi da'na.

As you lay your bed na so you go lie ontop am.

Nigerians are suffering. They wake up 4am to go to work and come back at 10pm only to earn N35k in a month! Na these same pple una expect to pay una hospital bills, buy coffin and pay for una funeral- after they paid attending your shows, paid to fund your multi-million naira endorsements, paid to buy your records but you squandered the money?!!! Se e fe pa mekunnu ni?

Like what one of my bros will always say- "eniti o ba fe ku ninu yin ko ku o. KO KAN AYE."

Sorry no donation from me.

The Industry Millionaires

OJB is battling with a kidney problem. A donor has been found and he is in need of $100k (N16m) to carry out the operation.

Oya na all of you big boys in the industry come out and help your colleague o. Don't wait to enter studio to sing tribute song o. We no go buy am. Na all your songs dey mention say una get stupendous wealth, oya help your brother.

Whizkid (wey say N500k na chicken and chips money for am) o ya come help your brother. We know say "your money and their money no be mate". Omo jaiye-jaiye, No buy another N50m Porsche. Save a life...you know this man's impact in your carreer.

D'banj and his $50k watch, $20k suit no look your brother make im die o. Eja nla open your Versace wallet.

Iyanya you just sign N60m contract with MTN come out come help. All we need now is your change not your waist.

2face abeg come spend some of this Dubai money o. Na this man produce the song wey lauch you - 'African Queen'.

Don Jazzy and his N60m Porsche, abeg drop something.

Davido (OBO), you don get enough gold chains o. Abeg save a life!!!

P-square and dem mansions and jet, biko drop something for your guy o.

Banky W, Eldee, Dr Sid, Olamide, Wande coal, Timaya, May D, Burna Boy, Ice price, MI, D'Prince - na all of una dey sing say una dey swim inside money o. No allow this man die o. If una no drink Champagne for 1 weekend una no go die o. Abeg gather money help this man.

We only need prayers from 9ice, blackface, faze, Idris, Tetula, Terry G, Lord of Ajasa etc. Nothing more.

All of you wey i mention, if una fit contribute N1m each money don complete o be dat o. Make una no expect say na the public go contribute this money o. Public wey dey earn N35k a month ....we no get o!!! Mekunnu no get money o!!! Igboro o rerin at all.
If this man die...shame on all of una. Make none of you sing say you don blow or you are balling again o.

Lastly, i want advise una ontop all these reckless spendings and lifestyles wey una dey live. Se una see now? Una go dey consume alcohol like say na water...dey smoke like say una be first born of sango. No savings yet una health dey deteriorate. Na only last week i talk this thing o when whizkid crashed im Porsche.... see e don dey happen.

Be wise and guided. E f'eyi kogbon o.

Faith:Unshakable trust

Ohun ti enia ba nla koja ni orin ti yio ma ko.
Sugbon igbagbo nikan lo le korin ninu iponju wipe "ki yio si nkan"

Faith is not measured by results. Faith simply means unshakable trust. That is, regardless of the outcome and circumstances, your song remains unchanged.

Job 13:15- "Bi o tilẹ pa mi, sibẹ emi o ma gbẹkẹle e, sugbọn emi o ma tẹnumọ ọ̀na mi niwaju rẹ̀."

Talk is cheap

Talk is cheap. Believe only what you see.
No be every big man be big man.
Be wary of anyone that approaches you with this attitude of 'I own the sea'
They are bastard users! Don't fall victim. They have no conscience. No morals. No principles. They lie for a living.

**I've got 7yrs of experience (and still counting).

Omo jaiye-jaiye

I thought these guys would have learnt their lessons after Dagrin's incident and desist from living reckless lives.

Heard Whizkid crashed his Porsche...i saw the pics and the car was a total wreck.
Don't they have pple advising them abi? So a car worth btw $75k-120k (depending on specs) just vanish like dat? And some pple are hailing him that na small change, e go buy another one!!! What a life! Se bi a se nlo owo niyen?

Is drink-driving now a way to show you are living large?
Se omo ire kan ma n rin kiri loru ni?
These are the sort of pple who get huge endorsement from these big companies as their ambassadors. Are these worthy role models?

Small time una go dey cry say una don loose a gem. Which gem? Una sabi meaning of gem? Una go dey call am legend. Una know the meaning of legend?
Small time dem go get some sickness dem go com dey beg pple for donations and FG to pay their hospital bills after dem don blow their money finish. Dem get small change now na to dey behave like fools.

Ask Mike Tyson o
Ask Evander Hollyfield
If u no sabi those ones, see our brother Amokachie or Danny Wilson.

Song wey dem dey sing sef no fit carry dem for the next 5yrs....so when everything dry up nko?

Me won't shed a tear for anybody o. To ba ya e ma ni mo daju.
Life to me is based on decisions and facing the consequences.
Eni to ba fe ku ko ku o.

In a proper country, his alcohol limit should have been checked and charged for dangerous driving while drunk if found to have been over the limit. You let them off, they repeat the same. Remember say no be only idiot like him dey use the road o....so why allow him to put other careful drivers at risk?

Ise kii p'enia, ayo gangan ni killer.

Shiooooo!i

Raising or lowering the bar?

Jamb cut off point si ma di 30marks. In this era of BB, twitter, FB, 2go. E ti mo nkannkan.

Who wan go skool again when u can pick up the mic and sing "Na na na na-na na na" and blow big enough to buy Porsche.

Who wan read again when you can open free twitter account and easily tweet ur naked pix and baba olowo go invite you come Abuja from there to Paris and London.

Why you wan dull yourself dey read book when you can go to the gym, rip body badly, get a DJ to cook a beat for you, get on the stage and comot shirt begin seduce all the babes and you have a sold-out show in London.

I wonder why Ministry of Education never realise say nobody get time for Jamb again.
J A M B in this age and time? When all you need is a laptop and format- just 1 hit and you can set Oniru on fire?

If at all it's compulsory to enter 'ogba' dem no dey settle again? Mschew......

Abeg next story jawe.....!

#livinglifeonlife'sterms-2

'Ko pe odun mefa ti kiniun ti wa lori aisan, aja ko le ma ran si lati bere bawo lara re ti se'.
Regardless the bad patch one might be going through, there are still certain things one would consider as insulting.

It's not a matter of arrogance, it's about knowing your self-worth.
Ma je ki awon isoro ti o n la koja pa laakaye e re. You might need to make compromises in some areas just to pass through the hard times- that is absolutely fine, but never allow it to take away from you the power of choice.

Isoro ma n mu iwosi wa ni- ma gba!

#livinglifeonlife'sterms

The 2 families of the world

Have-nots: Abeg give me food make i eat

Haves : Go dig my farm and then come and eat your fill.

(After im finish the haves give am little food)

Have-nots: But this is too little for me. Can i have some more?

Haves: Come back tommorrow and dig my farm then i give you more.

Have-nots: Abeg give me some skin make i cover myself i am cold.

Haves: First go and shear my sheep after that i'll give enough to cover you.

(After im finish the haves give am small skin)

Have-nots: But this is enough for me. Can i have some more?

Haves: Come back tomorrow and shear more sheep and i'll give you more.

Have-nots: You are a crook

Haves: You are lazy

Have-nots: You are only lucky because you were born into wealth

Haves: You are simply full of excuses

Wetin man dey find na im dey turn am to slave.
Only a thin line seperates these 2 families of the world- DESIRE.

£1 Please!

I think i'm getting obssesed with £1coin. I love all its features, from the colour to the ruggedness and it has now become a collector's item for me.
If you have any you are not in need of just toss it my side. Thanks.

The 'DJ'

I used to be a 'DJ' at this pub/restaurant in 2005.
It is not the usual DJ you are used to o...this na special one. The job duty is plate washing which is similar to how djs spin their hands on the turntable.
If you want to tush up the profession, you call it Kitchen porter.

I pass through this place everyday and each time i look towards the building it reminds me of where i started from (infact this wasn't the beginning of my story in this country- i'll save that for another day). *Iyen tun badder* (in Davido's voice).
However it just occurred to me this evening when i was held up in the traffic right infront of the building to take a pic and share with everyone.

Moral of the pic:
- Listen, there's always a place of humble beginning. Never despise this.
- Every huge forest started out with a tree. Never be too big to start small.
- Wherever you find yourself, no matter how diminishing the role you are given is, try to do your best.
- No matter how young your boss might be to you, be respectful and obedient. Ko si bi igimu alagbase se gun to, eniti o gbese fun ni oga e.
- Don't act like a big man when you are not. This is why it's difficult for some people to mention where they work and the nature of their job. I ain't saying packaging no good o but be real. Oun naa ni alaanu se jina si elomiran.
- As long as the job put food on your table, be proud of it. There is dignity in legitimate labour, no matter how menial it might be. Eniti o jale lo b'omo je.

When you do all these things, providence will reward you in due course of time. Olorun ri inu gbogbo eda and He knows when you are matured enough to move up the ladder.

If this is the position you are at the moment and you are getting weary, discouraged or too ashamed, i am here to tell you to FORITI. I am not saying be SATISFIED, but for now endure and be diligent.
If you cannot be in charge of little, don't expect to be put in charge of many.
Life is in stages- ko se sare gun o. You need to pay your dues.
Eda ti ko ba ni itan kii pe tan.

I am not THERE myself. I am still striving.
I have just left a stage. I am waiting for the next.
I am never satisfied to rest on my oars, but i am contented and patient enough to painfully climb the ladders all the way to the top.

#livinglifeonlife'sterms

Tradition vs Technology

(He came from England to become the king in his home town)

Kabiyesi: Oloye, have you sent messages to all the neighbouring towns owing taxes that we are coming to wage war against them?

Oloye: Kabiyesi, we have sent for the Oluawo to prepare the àrokò. He's working on it.

Kabiyesi: What is that? What rubbish are you talking about Oloye? Don't they have facebook accounts? You can't send them whatsapp message? What of BBM? What stupid àrokò are you talking about?

The Blame Game

"Wón ní ká pa enu pò ká bá olè wí, èyín tun bu onínkan wípé ó se gbe síbè."

Blaming others is a behaviour we all picked up from our childhood whenever we wanted to escape punishment from parents at home or teachers in school. This behaviour sticks to us well into our adult lives, this time around we blame others to preserve our self-esteem and pride.
A lot of us do it. We blame others to feel good.

Blaming others is like drinking a slow poison. It destroys slowly and it has no cure.
This is how it works: Blaming others PREVENTS YOU FROM LEARNING AND GROWING.
Once you feel something is not your fault, then you don't see no reason to do anything differently. Which means, there is a high chance that you'll repeat the same mistake in the future that will result to more blame and more blame. This turns into a lifestyle that will one day end badly.

Not only is this behaviour capable of ruining you personally, it also destroys your relationships with people around because they can see through your dishonesty which you are trying to veil. This is a big turn-off!

You think taking the blame will make you weak and give others the chance to mess you about, but that's usually not the case. Taking responsibility actually gives you the strength to turn negative consequences into positive ones. Taking the blame for anything you are responsible for shows you are a strong character and not a coward. Only cowards hide! Once you have owned up to your fault, then everyoneelse are kept quiet because there's nothing more to say. Unlike when you are trying to be defensive which exposes you to further attacks.

Taking responsibity improves your credibility, increases learning, and solidifies relationships because people see you as trustworthy and sincere.
Taking responsibility transfers the energy which would have been used in playing the blame-game, to actually solve problems and become better.

Taking the blame does not mean you are weak.
Taking the blame does not mean you are a failure.
Taking the blame means you know that mistakes are part of life and only by accepting and learning from these mistakes can one grow.

Until you quit blaming others you can never learn and become better.

#livinglifeonlife'sterms-1

Life is governed by principles and one of such is the principle which i describe as ACTIONS/CONSEQUENCES. This simply mean that every action or decision you take has a corresponding consequence. You cannot escape it; principle aye ni. I am not talking about State laws which some powerful people can circumvent. This principle of life is no respecta of persons or positions; It will catch up with you.
This principle does not have regard for age no wonder you see some adults paying dearly for the wrong doing of their teens.

If you do not know this then wa fumble.
If you think because of your position you are excempted, so o wa n behave anyhow- o ti fumble o.

If only so many people understood this principle maybe they would have done things differently.
If only some people understood this simple principle maybe they would have been more careful and not reckless.

This principle does not just become activated suddenly. It gives several oppurtunities to make amends. It gives time to reconsider your way. It warns. It sends different people across your way to counsel, preach or educate you.
But once you have wasted all your given chances to change, this principle visits you with full consequences of your actions. AT THIS POINT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HELL HAS NO MERCY LORO YI O. KO SI ÈRÒ!

So how many chances do you think you have to get things right? Don't go thinking every decision of life comes with several oppurtunities. Some are just once and the effect of such decision if wrong can be devastating.
So why don't you make it a point of duty to always consider the consequence before you do anything.

The time you are most prone to error is when things are OK with you. When you are comfortable you feel ontop of the world and think too highly of yourself. Sometimes you forget you are mortal...wà wá bere si ma behave like you are immortal.

Take a look around you and see examples of stars who got gassed up with fame, leaders who became power drunk and successful people who felt their money can bail them out of anything. See how they were crushed when the consequences of their past visited them. Some lost all the fortunes they have laboured for. Some died shamefully. Some are still alive but reduced to nothing.

Iwo to nfi wàdùwàdù lo ile aye; o ya rora se.
Iwo ti eti re di si ikilo, ti inu re koro si ibawi; o ya tun ero re pa.
Iwo ti o ngbe aye YOLO; you are very right- You live only once but make it count. Don't live it with regrets.

You cannot live life on your own terms.

Desperation

Desperation and foolishness are siblings.
Desperation strips you of your common sense.
Desperation kills your dignity.
Desperation makes you loose touch with reality.
Desperation turns you into a shameless and gullible individual.
Desperation leaves you defenceless and weak.
Desperation makes you an easy target for manipulators.
Desperation is a KILLER.

Desperation gives you a false self-worth.
It makes you forcefully attach yourself to people who don't like you.
Desperation might give you a fast rise to the top, but you won't last long there before you come crashing down.
Desperation is simply you saying "DAMN THE CONSEQUENCE. I DON'T CARE!"

Only when it's convenient

When you win medal, you be dem own
When you commit murder, dem go disown.

Immigrant wey dey parliament na dem own.
Immigrant wey dey prison dem disowm.

When you fly dem flag, dem name rules
When you rock dem boat, dem trace your roots.

Gbogbo omo kó l'omo.

The Family Unit

Children raised by the system will later come back to hurt the system. Omo inú oká ni n s'ekú p'oká.

I am not talking about religion now because religion was created by man for selfish reasons and to advance his evil intentions. God is not religion. He does not need anyone to fight on His behalf.
Olorun to ija ara Re gbe. Ko ran anybody n'ise.

I am talking about dysfunctional homes created by the system.
One of the easiest things to do in UK is for a woman to kick out the man from the house if he dares try to raise the home the proper way it should.
O easy baje. Simply pick up the phone, call the police and tell them you and your kids have been domestically abused and you want the culprit out of the house NEVER to return again. Lobatan! Won ma so nu bi oko ni... Most women in UK are known for doing this especially within the black community. The usual slang is 'I have chucked him out'. 'Mo ti so s'ita bi akisa'

The next step is to contact the government to inform them that you are now a single parent and your family is now their responsibilty. The government is happy that suddenly women are beginning to know and execise their rights. KICKING MEN OUT OF THE HOME.
Domestic violence is on the decline while the population of worthless children is on the rise.

A society that feels women are capable of raising boys to become real men will pay dearly for creating such a system.
A home without a father-figure is like a city without a king. I am not underestimating the roles of women in the home, i am only saying that they cannot play the role of a father in the lives of their children. O ma yo sile o!
The kind of children you 'll raise are the types that'll butcher a fellow human being in broad day light. Prostitutes, drug dealers, gangsters and those who get pregnant at 14. (There are exceptions in this assertion but the statistic is insignificant).

There are even some homes where the fathers have lost their authourity for fear of being kicked out. Awon baba yen ti di siddon-look. Baba go rake for pikin,mama go tell am to keep quiet. Ikoro ni e ngbin o nitori omo ti a o ba pawopo bawi ko le nilari. Itiju lo ma ko ba ebi ati ara lojo iwaju.

The devil is attacking families just because he knows that is the easiest way to capture the world. The family is the root, the source, the core. Pollute the source and everythingelse is polluted.

The family is an institution established by God. It is not to be messed about with.
God gave the man and the woman different attributes which they must both combine to raise a family that will fulfil His purpose.

His purpose is that man will live together in peace.
His purpose is that man will show love to one another.
His purpose is that we will glorify Him with our lives.

When man plans, God laughs

Riro ni t'enia, sise ni t'Oluwa- series 1.

Awon boys wan die for gym dey carry iron.
Babes dem don buy orisirisi bum shorts ati awon push up somethings.

Erm...but ontop all the wahala, weather no gree change o. Olorun ma je ke se lasan o.

When man plans, God laughs.

Never let dem get you

Dem know say u never marry o, won a ma so fun e wipe "e ma ba mi ki oko yin "

Dem know say you no get car o, won a ma bi e leere wipe "Uncle, nibo le park si?"

Dem know say you are unemployed o, won a ma so fun e wipe "aww...mo de fe wa sodo yin lana o, but mo ro wipe e ti ma lo sibi ise ni"

Dem know say you na only 1 cloth you get o, won a ma so fun e wipe "e lo wo shirt yin keji to fine yen"

They ask you, they ask me
They spite you, they spite me

Why do people do this?
Why bad mind dem reproach you and me?

Some just love to see others sad
To make them feel superior, better, smarter
To make you and me feel worthless

When you feel sad and worthless, dem get you
When you react angrily, dem get you
Dem will go to one corner and laugh

Don't give them that chance
When dem repraoch you, smile and give the answer dem expect to hear

Be full of life, be confident
Banish doubts, and sadness
Don't act under pressure, no need to go out of your way to prove a point- you do not owe dem any

Don't allow dem pressure to get into you
Didun ni osan si ma so
Adie ti o ku si ma je agbado
Ireti si wa fun igi ti a be lori

Aronipin e ma ku'ya.
Se iwo lo da won ni?
Kilode to wa nsoro bi Eledumare?
Oni lo ri o, ko s'eda to m'ola
If this kain game is your hobby- aye buruku lo ngbe o
Ojo ibaje ti e naa de mbo.

Consider this carefully

You were advised to live like there would not be a tomorrow, but the way you are living is actually not to see tomorrow.

Iyato wa ninu mejeeji eyin omo iya mi.

Season 19

My player for the season is Koscielny. I aint saying this cos he won us the 4th place, but he has been outstanding in the heart of the defence all through the season. He gave his best anytime he was given the nod to play. His performance actually displaced our captain and patched up our leaky defence with good understanding play with big MERT. I chose him 'cos of his consistency and desire.
Coming close to him is Santi Carzola. This little man is simply a joy to watch. I won't fail to mention the vintage Rosicky. Even though he has not been lucky with injuries, none of his performances since he returned can be faulted. To the rest of the team, i say 'welldone lads, but you can do better'.

Arsenal is not a club for the faint-hearted or if you are suffering from poor health. Nevertheless, i am proud to be a gunner. I am glad to see the end of my 19th season with the club.
I don't have anything to say to the manager other than, learn from this season and SORT IT. That's all.

Fellow gunners, be strong. We are closer.

COYG!

Life na levels o

Man-city makes cash payment for players.
Chelsea sort theirs by bank transfer.
Man-utd pays by cheaque.
Arsenal make withdrawals from the ATM.

#Olorun o pin dogba.

Don't build fear around yourself. Build respect.

Don't build fear around yourself. Build respect.

When people fear you, they can't tell you the truth. Aye e de n baje lo niyen nitori bi won ba ri iku to ma pa e bayi, won o ni le so fun e.

Respect gives people the freedom to talk to you about anything while they remain curteous in their approach.

Ganran-ganran to nse kiri kan ma so e di nuisance ni. Yes sir! Yes sir! ti won nse fun e no mean say dem respect you o. Won ti gbe aso èté re fun tailor won, o n ran lowo.

SOS from Russia

(A call from russia)

Koradini: My lord you have a call from Russia sir.

Satan: Russia? Who is it? Take the message i'm eating.

(15 mins later)

Satan: Koradini! Who was the caller from Russia?

Koradini: My lord, it was the leader of the Association of Nigerian students in Russia. They need your assistance sir.

Satan: Nigerian students in russia? On what? If they want to invite me for any of the programmes, i hope you have told them i can't come because that place is too cold?

Koradini: My lord it's not about that sir. He said the students which the government sent to Russia on scholarship are suffering because their allowances has not been paid for the past 6 months. They have been surviving by begging from fellow students from Ghana and Zimbabwe for money and accomodation.

Satan: (cutting in) So what do they need me for? To come and pay what their government owes them?

Koradini: No my lord. He said they have prayed to the Great One to help deal with those officials involved but He's too merciful and not taking quick action so they have come to you to please handle the matter for them. They want you to show these people making life difficult for them the brutal side of you.

Satan: (shaking his feet) hmmm....that one will be tough o. They want me to face these evil people? O ma le die.

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ATM

(Mirudin rushes in)

Satan: Were ni e ni? Why did you burst into the house like that?

Mirudin: My lord...sorry sir! (Bowing down) sorry sir. But i came in to inform you that a mob attacked us sir. I only managed to escape but Koradini is not that lucky sir. He is under intense attack sir.....

Satan:What?!! People attacked you? why? where? who are they?

Mirudin: We were attacked at the market sir. The woman we wanted to buy stuffs from raised an alarm that we gave her fake notes.

Satan: (Slapped Mirudin) You must be stewpid! How many times have i warned you people not to practise such manipulation? how many times?

Mirudin: My lord sir...we did not! we did not...sir!

Satan: So where did you get the fake notes? how did you come about it?

Mirudin: erm.....from the ATM my lord.....

Satan: ATM?! A-T-M? A-T.........ERM..........this country is finished. SO ATM now dispenses fake notes?
Ok get the boys to go and rescue Koradini then i'll think of what next to do. I MUST RELOCATE....ENOUGH!!!!

Calm down and give it a second thot

Mud is easier to wash off when it dries.

Step away from that confusing situation you are in right now and give yourself a bit of time to clear your head before you make a decision.

Wipe your tears and dry your eyes so you can see properly.

Don't make that critical decision in the heat of the moment.

NO TIME O!

Frank: Heeeeee...my friend this Abuja dey pay you o. Just 6 months and you are riding a customised Bentley?!!!

Ben: Ol boy....NO TIME o! siddon there.......see make i tell you, Abuja is flowing with gold and diamond provided you dig the right soil.
There so many super-rich women over there whose husbands don't have time for them. We are the ones taking care of them.

Frank: Eh...Osanobua! But that is wrong. Are you now a gold-digger? I thought this type of behaviour is only known with ladies....

Ben: heee....NO TIME O! Siddon there. wetin you want make i dig before if i no dig gold? Make i dey dig yam? See what is good for Chioma is also good for Chukwudi...no be only women get the trade again o.
Wake up!!!! This Bentley is N62million naira! I also have a G-wagon and a Porsche. NO TIME o! This thing you are wasting on all these small girls in Lagos and dey even take you do sakara is a serious business in Abuja. All you need at the beginning are just few designer clothes, a car and good packaging to enter them. All these things you can rent...... once you enter one like this....bros u don hit jackpot o.
It is a miracle that the first ever time i'll fly in my life, i flew a 1st class. Up till now, i don't know how an economy class looks like. Bros no die for Agboju o......come Abuja.
NO TIME O.

Fake people fake nation

According to reports, 60 houses were burnt yesterday in Ibadan after the driver of a fuel tanker lost control and spilled its content before exploding.
Up till now, i am yet to see any status update registering any form of condolence to those who lost lives and properties.
When Whitney died, some people no chop. Thatcher died una choose aso-ebi. Bomb explode for Boston, una go queue for embassy say u want visa to go console Obama. UNA OWN PPLE DIE FOR YOUR OWN BACKYARD UNA NO DO ANYTHING. S H A M E!!!

I dey wait na sebi another earthquake go happen for Pluto...make we see how una go cry for ur relatives wey dey dere.

#Fakepeoplefakenation.

Truth runs faster than lies

This is what i call standard.
You don't find this in an environment where 'anything goes' no wonder they think they can come here to do the same and get away with it.

I totally understand how hard it is for a student to survive in this country but he should have known that the chances of getting away with an arrangement like this is very slim except the supervisor is a 'sure guy'.

Some people will be wondering why he was charged for fraud. "He no embezzle money na" lol. Yea it is fraud because technically he is not on duty but will still get paid if not caught. "Sebi he brought somebody to replace him?" That's even complicating the matter because the friend is neither trained nor employed by the railway service.

I think the guyman should just be thankful he's spared a jail sentence.
I doubt if he'll however be able to keep the job or erase the criminal record from his file.

My people, i know it is hard to be truthful but e je ka ma try. Ti e ba paro ti won ba mu yin nkan to ma baje ma poju bo se ye lo.
If you say the truth and lose some things, ko matter because you would have gained a good reputation which is better and can help you recover all that you have lost.

G.O and the Pressman

(The Press interviewing the G.O)

Reporter: Good morning sir.

G.O: Morning.

Reporter: We'll like to talk briefly on issues that borders on the church and marriage.

(G.O cuts in)
I hope that's all we are going to talk about and likewise that's what you'll write. I don't want to read what i have not said o. Also, please report me verbatim and don't imply me.

Reporter: Sir, are you saying there has been some untrue stories reported about you?

G.O: Look...you have started again abi? Se aditi ni e ni? Immediately i told you not to do something you have started to do it. Did i tell you what you have just asked me? So nibo lo ti gbo iyen? Se won fi wahala se yin ni? By the way, is this what you told me we are here to discuss? I think i'll have to call off this interview if this is the direction you want to go.....

Reporter: sir...sir....i am sorry if you think i have erred. Can we please continue?

G.O: Alright before we can continue, i'll have to collect your camera and delete all what you have recorded so far then we start afresh.

Reporter: Is that neccessary? Alright sir...i'll do that.

G.O: I insist that i do it by myself....otherwise.....

Reporter: Alright.....alright sir...here we go. (hands over the camera)

G.O: Oya come and show me...delete da? Bring up the file.....what will i press?

(After about 10mins the G.O was satisfied)

So just go straight to your questions and don't twist my instestine.

Reporter: Sir, an incident was reported in the news media of a wedding ceremony that turned ugly when the housewife appeared at the church to disrupt the weddding. Apparently, the man was currently married and he was leading another woman to the alter. What do you have to say to that?

G.O: Firstly, i didn't read or hear about the incident. I don't read newspaper.

(Reporter cuts in)
Can you briefly tell us why you don't read the newspaper? Does it have to do with what you have read in the past about yourself and you are not happy with?

G.O: Reporter! Reporter!! Respect ara e orelse ma sepe fun e. Let us focus on the matter on ground.
As i was saying before i was rudely interrupted, the incident you have just brought to my attention is a serious one but not strange. There are so many couples out there living decietful lives. So many have done this type of thing and got away with it, while some didn't go to the extent of church or registry but have multiple partners in different states of the federation. It is a life of lies. It is a life of cowardice. It is a life of shame. It is a life of error.
Several questions need to be asked and all the parties involved have to give answers.
What questions did the pastor who conducted the marriage ask the couples?
How much did the new wife know of the man before going to the alter?
Why can't the man dissolve the existing marriage properly?
Where did they get the crowd that attended the wedding ceremony dancing and clapping? Are they all in the dark about the man's marital status?
You see reporter, it's all questions...questions...questions. But all these questions are pointing to the same foundation- TRUTH. When this is missing in any kind of foundation you lay from the beginning, then everything else will go wrong sooner or later.

Reporter: So what steps are you taking to ensure something like that do not happen in your church.

G.O: Well there are measures already in place to curb this. .....to curb not eradicate...because you cannot eradicate this kind of thing.
But the system is such that couples are not just joined at short notice.
There is a letter of conscent they need to bring from both parents/guidance, there are checks to be conducted at the registry, we need enough time to announce the bans of marriage in the church...atleast minimum of 3 consecutive sundays asking people to come forward and tell us if they know of any reason why the couples should not be joined together. We need people of reputable character in the society who can also stand for them to come forward to certify that they are both single and would make a good home. Privately, we also conduct our investigation especially where either of the couple are not resident in the place where the marriage will hold. Lastly, we have the period of counselling. At this stage, they are told the harsh reality of marriage.
If after taking all these measures and something still happen somewhere along the line, it is not my business. It is theirs. We can rest on the fact that we have taken due care in our procedure.
I don't think the pastor who conducted the wedding can boast to have done any of these things except probably conduct a shambolic counselling for them.

Reporter: What advice do you have for intending couples in your church?

G.O: I usually tell them TO LOOK BEFORE THEY LEAP. I mean in this age, such secrets should not be hidden again. In this era of social media, you can search and also conduct your own personal research about the person you want to marry. But you see so many people are so loved up to do that.
I also advise intending couples to confess any secrets or mistakes in the past which could come back to haunt them as early as they can. If you have given birth before, don't hide it. Asiri si ma tu later o. If you were once an oloso....confess before somebody sends your photos and video of where you were doing the 'do' to your husband. Iyan ogun odun si ma njo ni lowo o.
Lastly i tell them to allow God to choose for them. If you choose yourself, you'll choose wrongly.

Reporter: Thank you sir for your time.

G.O: Thank you reporter. Please report well.

You don't inherit happiness- you earn it.

In life you don't inherit happiness, you earn it.

Ko le si idunnu lagbegbe oninuburuku
Onilara enia o le l'ayo
Ika o le nisinmi
Opuro o le ni ifokanbale

It does not matter how much saccharin you lick per day, you cannot find happiness if you are a worker of iniquity.

Stop acting like you are the only option available

Until you realise you are not the only option, you won't change the way and manner you relate with others.

Bi motor kan o lo si Onitsha, another one will go oun loro ile aye.
Wether you are a business owner, artisan, service provider, husband or wife, you must understand the simple fact that other people have got alternative choices to pick from whenever you fail to meet up with their expectations.

Understand this: You are not the only one rendering that particular service.
You are not the only one in that line of business. You are not the only who posseses the skill required. ALTERNATIVES ABOUND EVERYWHERE.

Therefore to stay relevant in the midst of these alternatives, you need to match quality with the best if you cannot be the best yourself.
You need to price your products and services reasonably.
You need to deal promptly with issues which relate to bad image.
You need to offer something extra which your clients cannot find elsewhere.

Reduce your costs on anointing oyel and mantel you buy every week and increase your concentration on the areas i have mentioned above.
Now you have been told to go and look for the head of an albino ki won fi ba e se etutu for your business to become popular...iyen lo de nwa kiri meanwhile you keep churning out poor quality products which are ridiculously priced.
Infact your attitude even stinks such that nobody wants to hire your service.

See this solution wey i give you now na free of charge. Try am.

Open-air sermon

#Waasi ita gbangba#

O fe ma so otito, o si tun fe je ore araye?
Iyen o le posibu kee! Eyokan lo ma fowo mu mbe.

Listen, je ki nso fact fun e:
* Olooto kii soro tabi huwa ki e ba le feran ohun. They speak the truth regardless of who'll get hurt.

* The moment you make pleasing people your priority then o ma di wahala fun e lati le ma so otito.

* To ba ti feran ijekuje, o ma nira fun e lati le ma so otito.

* If you are fearful, o le sotito nibi to ye.

* If you have some hidden secrets you won't have the confidence of speaking the truth for the fear of not being exposed. Iyen ni awon oloyinbo se fi style so wipe "those who live in glasshouse don't throw stones".
Anyway iyen beyen.

Iwo to like ki won paro fun e naa....o ti ku won kan ti bury e ni.
You that only like to be told what you like to hear....your case is just like that tree whose root has been eaten up by termites. The tree is just standing sooner or later ategun lasan lo ma wo lule.

Eniti o ba nso otito oro fun e orisa e ni. O ye ko ma bo ni. Iru eni be ko fe isubu e ni.
Eniti o ba nparo fun e ni ota e. O fe ko parun ni ki won ba le se yeye e. Sa fun iru awon enia bee!

Reactions

NEWSFLASH:
"One of the suspected Boston bombers killed"

Some Nigerians react:
"That is exactly how to fight terrorism. It should have no place among us. Innocent people don't deserve to die"

My reaction:
"Puleaseeeee americanas are too wickedful and don't sabi d fearful of god. Our beloved presidenc is a gentility sombori. He ha d fearful of god and don't wants to kee terorist pipu but to forgivement them. And we are nigerians pipu she are like him like dat. It is god dat give him to us. If u r not like it u can go to american and go and sit down there. We are too many in this countree sef. The census pipu cannot even count us finish. Pulease oooo dnt compares us with american. Go and kew up to collects visa to american. Leave us alone. Thanks you."

Backward Politics

En-route the ACN Convention. This picture had me in stitches.

With dis kain politics wey we still dey do, we are very far away from any meaningful development.

Tell us the plans, policies, blue prints.....stop carrying brooms and umbrella about.

E kuro nidi osi rederede.

kmt.

Horror-Comedy Movie

Nigeria just be like Horror-comedy movie.

I still dey watch wetin go happen with this BH amnesty issue.

I wan see names of those wey go dey govt payroll dey collect money. No be ghost dem call dem? Wetin dem wan take naira currency do? Se currency aye ba torun mu ni?

I wan see wetin go happen to the innocent victims wey dem don render homeless, some pikins wey don become fatherless.... women wey don become widows and husbands wey no get wives again. Se nothing for those ones? And you want to dey pay people wey distabilise their lives? Which kain money make we call dat one?

I wan see which group go spring up after BH to come unleash terror on the country just to claim their portion of the national cake as well. Sebi na after niger/delta militant boys na im we begin hear about BH.

Issokay.....make i go buy fuel put for standby for the generator i must watch the movie finish o.

Britiko in Lagos

(A British-born Nigerian just enter Lagos)

One afternoon his Range Rover Vogue was hit.....

Driver: Oga oloriburuku yi ti gba wa sha...

Britiko: (Blowing accent) You mean we have just been hit by that driver? What the heck!

(Driver comes down on the spot...pulls shirt to fight)

Britiko: (Blowing accent) Hey c'mon....c'mon....sombory stop them.
Hey stop.....nooooo...o ma gosh!

(After the fight is broken up)

Driver: Oga you for leave me ki nba aye je. Olosi....apa.....oloriburuku.....

Britiko: (Blowing accent) You don't have to fight! I mean what's all that about?
You could have just asked for his insurance and call the police. I mean....am sure everything will be fine....is this a jungle or something?

Driver: Insure-what? Ko si insurance kankan oga. Ordinary paper la nlo nilu yi. Kini....the paper is just to have somtin to show the fe-ai-o (VIO) ati road safety...ati awon oloriburuku alaso dudu tibi when they stop you. Na people like you dey buy original insurance o. Enia melo lo jeun kanu to ma sanwo insurance bi N5000 losu?
Oga na we go go repair this car o....na why i wan destroy the guy's life be dat. Na ordinary paper we dey buy for this country o....e no cover anythng.

Britiko: (Accent changing) you mean he doesn't have an insurance?! O my gossssh....and he's driving without insurance and endangering the lives of other motorists?

(Offending driver prostrating to beg)

Oga abeg..... I take God beg you.....

Why una dey fear?

Obama and im family dey go church service on Easter Sunday dem waka for road like every other normal human being. Dem no close road because of dem. Security no shoot teargas. Nobody chop koboko.

Iyawo Governor wan go buy pepper, e wa ti Mile 12 pa.
Iyawo President dey come lagos, una close 3rd mainland bridge....

No be mekunu vote una for there? Ok let us assume say na ur money u take rig election reach power, no be mekunu una dey govern? So why una dey run away from them?

After u don give dem good roads, constant electricity supply, good health facility, quality educational system....se dem go still hurt you?

Why una too dey fear?

A captured mind is a captured man

THE MIND IS WHERE IT ALL HAPPENS.
WHEN THE DEVIL STRIKES, HE ATTACKS THE MIND.
WHEN THE MIND IS CAPTURED, THE MAN IS CAPTURED.

To become the person you hope to be, YOU NEED A SOUND MIND. 2 TIM 1:7- God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

To reach your peak, you need to renew your mind-set and bring it into alignment with God's promises and the way you do things. Only then can you succeed.

"People who are out of shape mentally fall victim to ideas and systems that are destructive to the human spirit. They have not been taught how to think, nor have they set themselves to the life-long pursuit of the growth of the mind, so they grow dependent upon the thoughts and opinions of others. Rather than deal with ideas and issues, they reduce themselves to lives filled with rules, regulations and programmes."- Gordon MacDonald

Don’t start by changing your actions, start by changing your mind.

Area boy in love

Hello sisi mi, wa....je ki nsare gbe nkan si e leti.
Bo se ma nju lo, to ma nju bo yen...mo ma n gbadun e gan...mo ma n likey gan.
O sa mo, mo ma n ko e je baje. Mo ko e je bayano! o sa mo.
Gbogbo front and back yen....gbogbo e lo tiri banba....gbogbo e lo ma nwu mi gan.
Mo ko e je bayati
Mo ko e je bayano
Mo gbon e mu seriously
Iwo naa wo e now...
o duro daadaa
o make sense
o fit
o wo team
o wa mbe
o ta lenu
o ta loju
Iwo nikan idomie meji atagigun 500
...Omo o mo nkan to sele, je ka jo ma se ara wa lese lo....o sa mo...o get e

(You just love area boys when they fall in love)

You need the trust and respect of others to succeed

So many people cannot get the assistance they are in need of today because they have lost their honour through their acts of dishonesty in the past.
Won ya elomi lowo, ko san pada. Elomi ra oja awin o digba to ye ko sanwo, o so di wahala. Na work dem help anoda person find, as e reach dere finish e begin spoil the name of the person wey help am.

When you get a negative reputation, it’s hard to recover from it. Eni to y'agbe le gbagbe sugbon eniti o ko igbe naa ko le gbagbe lailai. Ma je ki oro e dabi adie to n yagbe sinu ikoko obe. O ti gbagbe wipe ile igbehin oun l'oun baje yen.
Reputation outranks money. Iyi ju owo lo. Choose a good reputation over anything. Let your yea be yea and your nay be nay.

When you are making decisions for short-term benefits only, quickly ya ara e ni brain and remember that if it earns you a bad reputation it’ll haunt your prospects indefinitely. O ti ilekun mo aanu ojo ola e niyen o.

Don't make poor decisions that will lead to long-term losses and regrets. Remember that the trust and respect of others is always needed to succeed.

Maa se ohun gbogbo nitori ojo ola. Ma fi oni ba ola e je.

Take banana till you go yo

(Satan listening to some jams)

Gbedu blasting: "Take banana till you go yo...."

Satan: Mirudin, Who is this person singing?

Mirudin: I don't my lord. Let me call Koradini....he knows all of them my lord.

(Koradini arrives)

Koradini: My lord....you called for me sir?

Satan: Who sang the song "take banana or something like that...?

Koradini: Ha, it's D'prince my lord.

Satan: The Prince? Prince of where? Which king is his father?

Koradini: Not like that my lord. It is D'prince as in letter 'D' 'apostrophe' and then the word 'prince'. He's not a prince like that...it's just his stage name.

Satan: Issokay. Is he a stammerer?

Koradini: No my lord. why did you ask?

Satan: You mean he is not a stammerer? Have you listened to the song yourself.....how come that statement 'take banana till you go yo'' was mentioned 48 times in the song? And you say he's not a stammerer? Then the person he was singing for must probably be suffering from a hearing-related ailment.
Did you pay money for that CD?

Koradini: (smiles) No my lord....it's the usual complimentary copy sir.

Satan: Hmmm...the problem in this country is multi-faceted.

"Wait for my Oga at the top....dat's all"

(Mirudin granting a press interview)

Reporter 1: Is it true that your boss is admitted at the hospital after receiving a shocking news?

Mirudin: Yes

Reporter 2: Erm, is it also true you are the one that relayed the news. ...can you tell us what the news is all about?

Mirudin: well yes i was the one that sent the news across.

Reporter 3: Can you tell us the content of the news? We learnt it was about something that happened at abuja?

Mirudin: you see i would have loved to tell you but i don't want to say something now and my oga at the top will say another thing....so please wait when it is time my oga at the top will say it.

Reporter 2: we learnt there is a website where we can read updates on your field reports...can you give us the name of that website?

Mirudin: Well this information you need is not there. It is with my oga at the top. So please wait.....

Reporter 1: But just tell us.....

Mirudin: ok....it is ww.encidici... yea.

(short pause)

Reporter 2: ww.encidici...???

Mirudin: yea...dat's all.


Enjoy the video below:

Letter of grastitudes to Mr Precident

My letter of grastitudes to Mr Precident:

First and actsuali i wants to say we nigerians pepu are prouds of you for your forgivement spirit. You has prove to all of us that you are truthli a man of gawd. Your humbility spirit is also like that of a childrens. You are tried for this country and we thank you bigly.

Nextly and actsuali, i speak onbehaf of the entaya nigerians pepu to thank you for the forgivement you forgive the innocence great leaders who their enemis lie on their head that they are steal money and their name spoil. Thank you for haven belif in them and forgivement them. I hope the money the govament she are collected frm them will also be return.

Lastyly snd actsuali, please the nigerian pepu she are like to submission the names of other pepu that shoulds be forgivement.

Jame Ibory
Bodday jorj
Sissilia Hebrew
Farook Larwane
Taferr Baloogoon
Deemage Bamcole

We didnt want to do court with this pepu again.

Thank you for your understands and may you rule forever more. amen.

Please dont forget the rehabilitate you wants to do for the prostitute in abuja. We knows you are a man of your word bcos you promise to do parry for our nollywood and you has do it. You promise to gives us electric you has do that one olso. You promise to kill bokoharam, you has do that one aswell. We are hapi abaot you and everybody of the nigerians pepu she are smilling.
We prayer rekwest for you again that you shall rule forever.

We love you our forgivement and humbility precident, always smile and dress simpility with or without shoes.

God bless nigeria and god bless all africas the giant of nigeria.

State Pardon

(Satan heard a noise)

Satan: Koradini why did you scream like that? What is your problem.....are you possessed?

Koradini: I am sorry my lord. Erm...i just received a field report from Mirudin that was so shocking sir.

Satan: When did Mirudin start to go for assignment? Who asked you to send him?

Koradini: Sorry my lord. I have so much report to collate as you instructed and i am running out of time....so i asked him to go.

Satan: So you do things now without informing me abi? Issokay. So where did you send him...and what is the shocking news about?

Koradini: I am sorry my lord. I sent him to Abuja to attend the council of state meeting...and he just informed me now that his excellency has given a state pardon to his former Oga.

Satan: What are you talking about...will you speak plainly......i don't like confusion

Koradini: Erm....Mr. Diepreye Solomon Peter Alamieyeseigha (DSP) has been pardoned of all his offences sir. Technically, he is free to now free to contest election and be appointed to serve the Nation in any capacity.

Satan Screamed......................and collapsed.

Aspiring bosses, please take note

To all those aspiring to become their own bosses, please read the following lessons i have learnt from my current employment. This is my 6th year in the company and i have seen it gone through different stages.

1. Anything you build on deceit will eventually crumble. You can only patch it here and there for a while.

2. Whatever you do as the boss is a standard which your employees will pick up. If you are rude to clients in their presence, they will do the same.

3. You cannot build loyal staffs by threats and the use of force.

4. Never underestimate the power of your employees. Don't take them for granted. The more you force them apart or try to break their union, the more they get bonded.

5. PAY THEM AS AT WHEN DUE. Never make them suffer to recieve what they have worked for. It can attract a curse to your business.

6. Don't base all your principle on theory X of McGregor alone and as such you over use them and force them to work without breaks. Balance the work and rest times so as to get the best from them. Give them holidays when they are due....even machineries are sometimes turned off to cool off how much more humans.

7. Never make promises you won't fulfil to your employees. When you raise and dash their hopes at will, you will end up with disgruntled employees.

8. Help your employees to balance their work/family life. They also have needs. Show that you care in deed not only by words.

9. Create a boss-employee communication. Don't build a fence around yourself orelse in the day of danger the same fence will make it difficult for them to rescue you. Be approachable and a good listener.

10. Be humble enough to take the settlement route if there's a dispute between you and your employee. Never allow an employee with the company's vital secrets to walk away unhappy. They have nothing to loose except the salary,and within a few months they can be back in another employment.
You have everything to lose because they hold the tools which can be used to destroy all you have laboured for. Don't be penny-wise and pound-foolish.

11. If management is not your strenght, employ a competent manager to handle that aspect. Never be too afraid to delegate authourity.

12. Hire people based on their competences not by their looks, place of origin or gender.

13. Never become a law to yourself and become reckless. Remember you are still subject to the law of the land and it respects no one.

14. Make it a point to keep employees on a long term in the company. A company with a high employee turnover can never progress because there is no continuity.

15. You don't know everything and you cannot do everything that is why you employed people, so allow them to work. Allow them to use their ingenuities to push your company forward. Also create a room for their development before they become dull and uninterested.

16. If you are the type of boss that ends everything conversation with threats of sacking, you cannot be respected by your employees.

17. Make the company's goal very clear. Don't end up confusing your employees by talking from both sides of the mouth and then blame them for not doing what you want. For example, If your intention for establishing the company is to be defrauding people make it very clear so that everyone knows what they should focus on.

18. Distribute responsibilities according to the ability of each employee. Don't force people to take up roles which they cannot handle.

19. Don't mix business with pleasure. Never indulge in having sexual relationships with your employees.

20. You are not God. Don't assume the role.

You might be thinking why most of the points are employee-related. That is because employees are the greatest asset any company can have.