THE CLUB YOU SUPPORT AND YOU

I have noticed that you can actually match people's characters with the performances of the football club which they support.
Here is looking at the 4 most-popular premiership clubs.

MAN-UTD:
1. Set high standards
2. Born winners
3. Unstable
4. Blame others for their misfotunes
5. Flirts
6. Controversial
7. Goal-getters

ARSENAL:
1. Disciplined
2. Sleek/show-off
3. Laid back
4. Give up easily
5. Frugal
6. Philosophical/deep thinkers
7. Unpredictable

CHELSEA:
1. Strong-minded
2. Power lies in strength
3. Temperamental/argumentative
4. Extravagant
5. Loud/arrogant
6. Back-stabbers
7. Willing to achieve success at d expense of others

LIVERPOOL:
1. Determined
2. Workaholic
3. Bad finishers
4. Lucky
5. Easy going
6. Little achievers
7. Resilient

Match these characteristics with your friends who support any of these clubs that you know.

Koradini burns newspaper

(Vendor delivers newspaper)

Koradini sees the headline:

"We have spent N7b on Mali crises"- GEJ

Koradini: Chei! My lord must not see this.
(quickly grabs matches and burn the newspaper)

(Satan percieves something burning):
Koradini, what is smelling? Something is burning? Can you check.....

Koradini: (sweating) yes my lord....it is one of these stupid boys that is playing with matches and paper. I said i wanted to teach them how to burn incense but i went to answer the call of nature by the time i returned i met them fooling about sir.

Satan: ok. Make sure you keep an eye on them.

Satan and Koradini in Ikare, Ondo

‎(Satan and Koradini walking on a street somewhere in Ikare, Ondo state, saw a woman on the street wailing and slamming herself on the tarred road)

Satan: What is wrong with that woman koradini?

Koradini: She must be very sad my lord...

Satan: Ofcourse i am not blind i can see that she is not in a good mood. I mean what is her problem?

Koradini: erm....i don't know my lord. Let me find out.

(Koradini changed his form and approched the woman 'Samaritanically')

Koradini: Madam, calm down....what is the problem?

Woman: haaaa.....heeeeee....i am finished o.....i am ruined o......my only son has been sent to jail for stealing a phone. Jamiu has been jailed for 3years ooooooo bcos of stealing a mobile phone of N17,000.

Koradini: Haaa.... very sad.....i know how you feel madam but stealing is very bad.

(koradini goes back to satan)

Koradini: My lord, the woman's son was caught stealing and sent to jail. He deserves it. Definitely....stealing is not good my lord like you usually tell me.

Satan: wow! He must have stole something very huge o because this government hardly send people to jail. He must be a really bad guy.

Koradini: Yes my lord....No my lord...erm...yes.....

Satan: What is No, Yes, No, ......Yes.....

Koradini: Yes my lord this government hardly send people to jail but...erm No my lord the guy is not a big thief sir......i dont just understand what happened to him. He only stole a mobile phone worth N17,000 my lord....

Satan: He stole phone? Phone of N17,000 and he got 3 years with no option of fine? Do you know what you are talking about at all?
How much did Director of Police pension steal?

Koradini: N2b my lord.

Satan: How many years did he get?

Koradini: 2 years my lord but he don't need to serve as long as he can afford the option of fine at N250,000.

Satan: koradini, i am thirsty.....get me water.....

One situation, One God, Different people

SITUATION: A resident reported the church to the council regarding their noise level which is above the approved decibel.

Reaction One: 

Pastor: Dear Parishioners, we received a letter from the council last week regarding a petition from one of the residents who complained about our noise level. The building committee organised a meeting with the council officials and it was suggested we improve on the soundproof.

We have subbed out the contract and work will commence this week to have the church properly sound-proofed so we can worship without constituting a nuisance to the community.

God bless you all.

Reaction Two:

Pastor: (Shouting and sweating) People of God, i want to you to take the next prayer point very serious. We want to pray that all the troubler of this soosi should die. God said decree one thing and it shall be established...so we want to decree now.
Oya all of you turn now and face Prof's house. Point towards his house and command consuming fire to fall on his house and entire household.
He has been reporting us to the council that we are disturbing him with our noise. He said we should be banned from serving our God.....brethren, decree now that paralysis should come upon him. Call for leprosy....pray that he should run madddddd
Prayerrrrrrrr!!!!!!!

Our thinking makes all the difference

One of the reasons why the rich will continue to get richer is simply because they know how to PLAN.
They don't just do things for the sake of it. All their moves are strategic and well calculated.
They take their time to build something of quality that'll outlast them and can be passed from generation to generation.

I'll use David Beckham and family as an example.
The second child is already modelling for Burbbery. The first recently had a trial with Chelsea.
The third had already been said to be showing positive signs on the entertainment side. He is a good dancer and i think Victoria once featured him briefly in one of the musical shows with her group.
The rich don't raise their kids with the mentality of growing up to be an employee. They raise them to create their own world. Many courses which some people go to the Uni to study are practically useless and won't bring out the best in them. But you can't blame them because that's the way they have been brought up to think.

Everything about David commands money. Clubs don't buy him only for footballing reasons. His image sells ANYTHING! Not many players of his age would have clubs lining up to get their signatures.
The mentality of the poor is killing the poor hence they have lost so many money-spinning opportunities. Coincidentally, they are the most religious. So almost everything to them is a sin....yet they can go to seek assistance from the rich man after criticising his source of wealth. Guess another passage dey inside bible wey dem go use cover up their hypocrisy. "the riches of the gentiles belong to them" 

I have always known David to carry himself well. He kept things clean and tight. Kings invite him for functions even his country uses him for diplomatic issues. Rather when all these boys have small change they begin to misbehave. They don't care about their image. Small time money go finish, fame go die down and they'll only be remembered for the bad things they have done.

Now, the poor think they were only created and commissioned to help populate the earth. Won kan ma ma bimo anyhow without any plan. How can an okada man be having 8 children? Even civil servant to n bimo merin ikoja aye gba ni. Soon, they'll go about begging for money to pay school fees of their children. If the rich man slams the gate of his house in their face won a so wipe o lahun. KO LAHUN O, EYIN LE O YA ARA YIN BRAIN.

Sadly enough, the poor don't also appreciate the value of money. They spend to appear rich! They rich don't spend their money, they spend the returns on their investments.

Consider the ratio of Poor/children to that of the rich/children and then say wether am talking rubbish.
Consider standards of living of both categories of people and tell me i don't know what i am saying.

I once heard an oyinbo said "we are not planning for a child now because we can't afford it" while my own people will say "Olorun ni nwo omo were...e ma bi won lo Olorun a toju won"

Na the same God create all of us but na  THINKING seperate us.

MY DREAM

The Naija and the British govts agreed to exchange countries, so the British govt moved over and naija came here.
I woke up and discovered water was not running- ki lo sele....mi o j'ewo now. So i just used the mouthwash and left for work without taking my bath.
On getting to the station, i met touts at the barrier " ogbeni machine yi o sise, mu cash e dani" i don't carry cash so i was not allowed to go through. The only other option left to complete my journey is the BUS. Arghhhhh!!!
The bus stop was chaotic. Some guys in green uniform were whiping commuters to stay on the queue. As soon as i joined the queue, one of the guys came and wrote a number on my palm "ogbeni, tally number niyen o...to ba ti pare ti e ba e niyen o ni ba motor lo" he said and moved to the next person on the queue. I checked my hand "no.830" yeeee Oluwa!
Bus 53 came along with the conductor hanging loosely from the door and shouting "Detford, Newcross, Old kent, .......mu shange e dani o. ....machine inu oko no dey work o.....i no want wahala o....no 50 pans shange o....enter with your shange....elephant....new cross....old kent"
"Cash again?" I muttered. I turned to the lady standing behind me " Sister please can you help me with the fare i don't have any cash on me...?" she smiled and said no problem. "Thanks" i said as i smiled back.
On the bus, i could not get a seat and i was even sweating despite the temperature at sub-zero.
The driver took an unfarmiliar route without any prior warning and one man yelled from the back " Driver why you dey pass here... You no go pass my stop...wetin dey happen?"
"Oga dem don block dat side o...dem never complete the road work" the driver said. "you better come down here and treck to your wherever you dey go" he continued.
"You are indeed a mad man. Oya wait for me make i come down and tell your conductor to give me back my money if you don't want wahala this morning" the aggrieved man screamed.
The driver braked harshly sending all the passengers all over the place, "come down if you wan come down....and wetin you wan do? Even if you be boko haram you no fit do anything" the driver barked back at him.
The mention of boko haram infuriated most of the passengers, " Driver no go dat side o.....no dey call bad thing with your mouth for our head o. Instead make you beg the man....you dey call boko, se boko na wetin dem dey take play?" A stout man who acted as the voice of the passengers spoke loudly.
(I rolled over on my bed and continued the dream)
At Newcross, street sellers were already setting up their wares on the street, the traffic were barely moving as impatient drivers had blocked off the major intersections. Traffic lights have stopped working here also, same thing i noticed since i commenced my journey.
At Oldkent road, a government official was blarring the siren and making frantic effort to break out from the traffic. His convoy eventually found a way out- they faced the on-coming traffic.
At Elephant, the police stopped our bus and ordered the driver to come down. Their meeting was a lenghty one and some passengers were shouting out to him from inside the bus "give dem waiting dem want abeg make we comot for here we don late o...." He returned to the bus cursing the policemen "awon oloriburuku, gbogbo nkan ta ti pa laaro yi naa ni won ti gba yen....i go crush one of una for road one day"
All the bus-stops from Westminster all the way to Trafalgar sqr had been removed. A big sign was erected reading "NO STOPPING, NO WAITING, KEEP OFF". I saw fierce-looking soldiers everywhere. I could not get off at my usual stop at Whitehall.
"What's happening here" i asked the man standing next to me. "That's the Government house. Are you a JJC?" He replied.
At Trafalgar sqr, our driver stopped without any apologies to fill up a water jerrycan from the fountain to put in the bus radiator.
" Abeg o i wan put water for the radiator o...but we go wait small for the thing to cool down" the driver announced after he came back with the water can. At this point i couldn't take it anymore so i alighted and completed the rest of the journey to work on foot.
"Why are you just coming now?" my furious boss asked.
Erm...sorry sir....i'm not just used to this system sir...
"Keep shut!" he screamed. He asked angrily, "which system are you talking about?" He threw some money notes at me and told me to go and buy diesel for the company generator.
"When did we start to use generator....When did we start to use generator....diesel? Office.....generator"
Then my wife shook me and said "wake up, wake up you are talking in your dream....it's time to get ready for work orelse you'll be late"
I said my shortest prayer ever after i woke up; "Thank God it was a dream."

I don't do religion. I do relationship

Just like Paul said in Acts 26:25 "...i speak of the words of truth and reason."

"I don't do religion. I do relationship"

Something happened to me last week, i received a not-too- pleasant news and i began to feel troubled. Because i realised the trick of satan, i knew what was coming up next is fear and once fear have its way, things will start to crumble so i quickly arrested the situation and God ministered to me through the song of a brother- Kelechi Ify "I am God's priority". That song started coming repeatedly to me and i smiled because i knew it was settled. I had the assuarance i wanted. I know that whatever happen even regarding the news i had just received, it will work still in my favour.

But when i got home from work later that evening, i was going over the issue again and i asked myself this question " why am i worried over this issue? God has not told me anything relating to this. He hasn't shown me anything about this in advance. So that means it cannot happen."
Now, before i can ask such a bold question it means i know what i am talking about. It means i know the relationship which exist between me and God. It means He has been telling me things prior to this. It means i know the way He operates with me.
So how do i come about this relationship with God? I'll share my experience below, not to show off or to prove am holy, but to let you know that God is available and can be found by those who seek Him. This was not a straightforward process. It was painful, tough, and long but worth it.

GAINNING MY ATTENTION
It all started by God gaining my attention. He got my attention by taking away my beloved immediate younger sister. This sad incident pained me so much and i set a war path between me and God. I foolishly told Him that "it is fight to finish between both of us." However, he exposed my folly by making me to realise that a creation cannot fight its creator. I started falling sick frequently without any known cause and then i had to return back to Him for healing.

HE DEMANDED FOR A RELATIONSHIP
Each time i fall sick, i get prayed for until one day He instructed a woman(one of those who usually pray for me) to tell me that He needed to teach me how to fight my own battles. That was the last time the woman prayed for me. She simply sent me on 7days fasting and directed me to CAC Agbala Itura, not to be prayed for by anyone but to go and fight my own battles by myself.
There, God has stationed another brother there who was going to mentor me. I never knew him, he simply came and became my prayer partner. He was so useful to me for several years after and even up till now we are still together.
During this 2nd stage of the process, i learnt how to take my case to my creator. I learnt how to suffer my flesh, i learnt how to fight my battles. My relationship with Him has started. The stuffs i went through cannot be said on this page- e too much! Most importantly here i learnt the importance of having the Holy Spirit. This is the core of everything and i would need him at every other stages and for the rest of my life.

HE TAUGHT ME HOW HE OPERATES AND DEAL WITH PEOPLE
The next stage was for Him to start teaching me about life and how He operates and deal with people. I learnt how to take all instructions from Him. I learnt obedience even when it is not convinient or does not make any logical sense. I learnt how to depend on Him. I learnt P A T I E N C E. This was the hardest part. It was a mind- wrecking journey. I learnt that patience is a virtue. You have it and your life is settled. You have it and there is no place for worries. Patience does not mean that you should live your life without ambition. It means moving at God's timing. The most accurate time anyone could follow.
The other teachings are never-ending ones.....even i am still learning up till now.

HE REVEALED MY FUTURE TO ME
Here, He made my journey clear to me. Even though i don't how to get there because the light He shed on my path is only sufficient to take the next step, but knowing what lays ahead of me enabled me to pick my choices wisely. That's why emi kii wo ariwo oja, eniti mo ba nna oja ni mo nwo. I know what He said, i have seen what He has done....so i can trust Him for the rest.
Now because He showed me what laid ahead does not mean things wil be falling in place just like that. NO! I have still got battles to fight, oppositions to confront, uncertainties to face... Yes that is the deal and i understood it.

HE TAUGHT ME HOW TO HEAR FROM HIM
Having revealed to me what laid ahead, the next stage was for Him to teach me how to hear from Him on what step to take next. How to be sensitive to His signals. How to understand His promptings. These took several forms- His word, dreams, songs, visions, messages, 3rd parties(this could be anybody- even a mad man). I have submitted to His interruptions as He pleases.
This aspect is vital in spiritual battles because it is like someone leaking the top secrets of your enemies to you. So when you go to battle with them, it is a walk-over for you because you have first conquered in the spiritual realm.
So i always get the warning in advance. Also, he gave me the wisdom to handle them because some of them can be so terrifying.

Inspite of all these, i am still in the process of being perfect. I am constantly renewing my spirit. I still have my own demons i am fighting with- sins that easily besets. But i never stay down anytime i fall. I get up and move again.
I understand the trick of the enemy is to get me off-track and to accuse me and also make me feel rejected so mi o ni gba fun. I know His thoughts towards me.....and that's all that counts.

I have shared all these with you so that you can quit religion and develop a relationship. Religion kills. Religion blindfolds. Religious leaders you follow about have all gone insane. They have sold their souls to the devil because of worldly gains and would lead as many as possible to miss their purposes in life.
With my relationship with Him, i don't have a prayer time- i pray all the time even when my lips are not moving. I am always in tune with the Spirit. Mi o figba kankan tura sile. Sometimes, i get complascent, i am human but the Holy Spirit is on hand to call me to order.

...So back to my story which brought up this write up, 3 days after i received the news, the matter was sorted without breaking any sweat. Then, i said to myself "Ah ha i said it now that this can't happen because He never told me so."
This is a relationship not religion!