Horror-Comedy Movie

Nigeria just be like Horror-comedy movie.

I still dey watch wetin go happen with this BH amnesty issue.

I wan see names of those wey go dey govt payroll dey collect money. No be ghost dem call dem? Wetin dem wan take naira currency do? Se currency aye ba torun mu ni?

I wan see wetin go happen to the innocent victims wey dem don render homeless, some pikins wey don become fatherless.... women wey don become widows and husbands wey no get wives again. Se nothing for those ones? And you want to dey pay people wey distabilise their lives? Which kain money make we call dat one?

I wan see which group go spring up after BH to come unleash terror on the country just to claim their portion of the national cake as well. Sebi na after niger/delta militant boys na im we begin hear about BH.

Issokay.....make i go buy fuel put for standby for the generator i must watch the movie finish o.

Britiko in Lagos

(A British-born Nigerian just enter Lagos)

One afternoon his Range Rover Vogue was hit.....

Driver: Oga oloriburuku yi ti gba wa sha...

Britiko: (Blowing accent) You mean we have just been hit by that driver? What the heck!

(Driver comes down on the spot...pulls shirt to fight)

Britiko: (Blowing accent) Hey c'mon....c'mon....sombory stop them.
Hey stop.....nooooo...o ma gosh!

(After the fight is broken up)

Driver: Oga you for leave me ki nba aye je. Olosi....apa.....oloriburuku.....

Britiko: (Blowing accent) You don't have to fight! I mean what's all that about?
You could have just asked for his insurance and call the police. I mean....am sure everything will be fine....is this a jungle or something?

Driver: Insure-what? Ko si insurance kankan oga. Ordinary paper la nlo nilu yi. Kini....the paper is just to have somtin to show the fe-ai-o (VIO) ati road safety...ati awon oloriburuku alaso dudu tibi when they stop you. Na people like you dey buy original insurance o. Enia melo lo jeun kanu to ma sanwo insurance bi N5000 losu?
Oga na we go go repair this car o....na why i wan destroy the guy's life be dat. Na ordinary paper we dey buy for this country o....e no cover anythng.

Britiko: (Accent changing) you mean he doesn't have an insurance?! O my gossssh....and he's driving without insurance and endangering the lives of other motorists?

(Offending driver prostrating to beg)

Oga abeg..... I take God beg you.....

Why una dey fear?

Obama and im family dey go church service on Easter Sunday dem waka for road like every other normal human being. Dem no close road because of dem. Security no shoot teargas. Nobody chop koboko.

Iyawo Governor wan go buy pepper, e wa ti Mile 12 pa.
Iyawo President dey come lagos, una close 3rd mainland bridge....

No be mekunu vote una for there? Ok let us assume say na ur money u take rig election reach power, no be mekunu una dey govern? So why una dey run away from them?

After u don give dem good roads, constant electricity supply, good health facility, quality educational system....se dem go still hurt you?

Why una too dey fear?

A captured mind is a captured man

THE MIND IS WHERE IT ALL HAPPENS.
WHEN THE DEVIL STRIKES, HE ATTACKS THE MIND.
WHEN THE MIND IS CAPTURED, THE MAN IS CAPTURED.

To become the person you hope to be, YOU NEED A SOUND MIND. 2 TIM 1:7- God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

To reach your peak, you need to renew your mind-set and bring it into alignment with God's promises and the way you do things. Only then can you succeed.

"People who are out of shape mentally fall victim to ideas and systems that are destructive to the human spirit. They have not been taught how to think, nor have they set themselves to the life-long pursuit of the growth of the mind, so they grow dependent upon the thoughts and opinions of others. Rather than deal with ideas and issues, they reduce themselves to lives filled with rules, regulations and programmes."- Gordon MacDonald

Don’t start by changing your actions, start by changing your mind.

Area boy in love

Hello sisi mi, wa....je ki nsare gbe nkan si e leti.
Bo se ma nju lo, to ma nju bo yen...mo ma n gbadun e gan...mo ma n likey gan.
O sa mo, mo ma n ko e je baje. Mo ko e je bayano! o sa mo.
Gbogbo front and back yen....gbogbo e lo tiri banba....gbogbo e lo ma nwu mi gan.
Mo ko e je bayati
Mo ko e je bayano
Mo gbon e mu seriously
Iwo naa wo e now...
o duro daadaa
o make sense
o fit
o wo team
o wa mbe
o ta lenu
o ta loju
Iwo nikan idomie meji atagigun 500
...Omo o mo nkan to sele, je ka jo ma se ara wa lese lo....o sa mo...o get e

(You just love area boys when they fall in love)

You need the trust and respect of others to succeed

So many people cannot get the assistance they are in need of today because they have lost their honour through their acts of dishonesty in the past.
Won ya elomi lowo, ko san pada. Elomi ra oja awin o digba to ye ko sanwo, o so di wahala. Na work dem help anoda person find, as e reach dere finish e begin spoil the name of the person wey help am.

When you get a negative reputation, it’s hard to recover from it. Eni to y'agbe le gbagbe sugbon eniti o ko igbe naa ko le gbagbe lailai. Ma je ki oro e dabi adie to n yagbe sinu ikoko obe. O ti gbagbe wipe ile igbehin oun l'oun baje yen.
Reputation outranks money. Iyi ju owo lo. Choose a good reputation over anything. Let your yea be yea and your nay be nay.

When you are making decisions for short-term benefits only, quickly ya ara e ni brain and remember that if it earns you a bad reputation it’ll haunt your prospects indefinitely. O ti ilekun mo aanu ojo ola e niyen o.

Don't make poor decisions that will lead to long-term losses and regrets. Remember that the trust and respect of others is always needed to succeed.

Maa se ohun gbogbo nitori ojo ola. Ma fi oni ba ola e je.

Take banana till you go yo

(Satan listening to some jams)

Gbedu blasting: "Take banana till you go yo...."

Satan: Mirudin, Who is this person singing?

Mirudin: I don't my lord. Let me call Koradini....he knows all of them my lord.

(Koradini arrives)

Koradini: My lord....you called for me sir?

Satan: Who sang the song "take banana or something like that...?

Koradini: Ha, it's D'prince my lord.

Satan: The Prince? Prince of where? Which king is his father?

Koradini: Not like that my lord. It is D'prince as in letter 'D' 'apostrophe' and then the word 'prince'. He's not a prince like that...it's just his stage name.

Satan: Issokay. Is he a stammerer?

Koradini: No my lord. why did you ask?

Satan: You mean he is not a stammerer? Have you listened to the song yourself.....how come that statement 'take banana till you go yo'' was mentioned 48 times in the song? And you say he's not a stammerer? Then the person he was singing for must probably be suffering from a hearing-related ailment.
Did you pay money for that CD?

Koradini: (smiles) No my lord....it's the usual complimentary copy sir.

Satan: Hmmm...the problem in this country is multi-faceted.