Official Letter: Nigerian Format

Let me quickly say this before i go to bed, and probably it'll save somebody from committing another grave mistake of sending another rude 'official email' tommorrow morning.

Nigerians, especially those in priviledged positions at government offices or private companies, don't understand the format of formal/official letter or email.
The only interpretation they have of it is that YOU ARE RUDE.

Why do you think you are not getting feedbacks from the several emails you have sent to follow up that your application? You are rude ni!

How can you write:

'Dear sir,
I write in regards of the application submitted on the 15th of July 2015.

Kindly furnish me with any update on the process.

Best regards,

Akin VòGg'

Such a letter is going into the bin with a big long hiss behind it, or the email is removed with a loud bang on the delete button.
Mschew...furnish ko, furniture ni! Rubbish!!!

This is the format to write a formal/official letter to a decision-maker in Nigeria:

Dear Sir,

Goodafternoon sir o. How is the family and your health?

Please sir o, don't be offended that i'm sending another email(or letter) to ask about the progress of the application i submitted on the 15th of July 2015. I don't mean to be disturbing you sir because i know you are a very busy man. Please sir pardon me o. I'm your son o.

Please sir, i'll be very grateful sir if you can just find any means to let me know how far sir. My telephone  number is 08073546621, even if it's ordinary text sir you can send to me for me to come and hear the feedback sir. I'm not even saying you should call me sir, i can call back if you flash me sir. Once i see your flash, i'll know it's you sir.

Don't forget me sir. God will not forget you too.

Your humble servant,

Akin VòGg

Brethren can you see the big difference between the two formal letters? If you were the one, which email or letter will you treat with mercy? Which one of the emails/letters will make you feel like the boss that you are?

Oh ho, you sef pick the second abi? So when you know that, why are you sending rude messages up and down and you expect them to reply you?

Use the second format tommorrow and come and thank me later.

For those of you whose money were illegally withdrawn, and have been writing all sorts of rude letters to the manager directly or through your lawyers asking them to return your money, you are only wasting your time o. If you can't go to the bank and naked yourself to get your money, then learn how to write a proper Nigerian formal letter. Learn some respect. Learn some manners.

Goodnight.

AV