Sharp guy: Bros..can you pls quickly arrange N5k glo credit for me. I am in d Sambisa forest looking for those girls & dey dnt sell anywhr arnd here. Pls it is urgent. I need to inform d govt of my discoveries.....
Other sharp guy: My guy that is to say you are still very much at the entrance of the forest....you never enter wellwell. If you waka go down down well or ask any of the terrorists for the house of the baale....im wife dey sell. We don pass dat side wey u dey o.....
AV
Looto ni oro awon agba to so wipe "Aya (tabi oko) buruku dun fe, (awon) àna buruku ni enia o gbodo ni." Tabi ki n tun so wipe "ile buruku ni enia o gbodo ti lo yan aya tabi oko."
Eyin enia mi, ogun buruku ni ogun awon ana! Eni ba kan lo le so. Awon ile ti enia kii jebi ki o to ko agbako, awon ile ti awon obi tabi egbon eniti a fe ti n fe so ara won di apase. Awon ni won fe so ohun ti e ma je, aso ti e ma wo, owo ti e gbodo ma fun won, ile iwe ti awon omo yin gbodo lo, igbati e gbodo jade, ibiti e gbodo lo, igbati e gbodo sun.
Aimoye ajosepo loko-laya to dun ni awon enia ibi won yi ti da omi ikoro si.
Pelu awon iriri ti mo ti ri ati awon eyi ti mo ti fi eti mi gbo, ojoojumo ni mo ma fi n dupe ore ti Eledua se funmi pelu awon ana oloorire ti o funmi. Be naa ni mo nba aya mi dupe wipe oun naa ri ile rere ya si. Ko ri iyonu bo ti wu ko kere mo.
Mo wa fi ola asiko yi gbadura fun awon ti ko ni ibale okan latari ogun ile oko tabi aya wipe, gbogbo awon aninilara yin ni inira yio de ba. Eniti o ba ni ohun yio ma fooro emi yin, ki Edumare o da guguru wahala sinu agbada fun ki o ma yan. Mo pe olugbeja eniti o lagbara lati dide fun iranlowo yin.
Lati asiko yi lo, e o ni isinmi. Gbogbo igi ti arigisegi won ba tun ti se lati wakati lo, ori ara won ni won o fi ru.
Imoran ranpe ti mo ni fun awon apon ti ko ti laya, ati awon omidan ti won n wa oko ni wipe, e yan re o! E wo ile te fe wo ki e to gbo'ri wole. E ma t'ori ife k'agbako! E se iwadi iru awon apere to mbe ninu ile ti e fe wo. E ma se akiyesi iwa awon ebi yii daadaa bi e ba ti ni oore ofe lati wa pelu won. E ni ifura bi won se n huwa si yin tabi soro si yin. E ma kan ranju sile bi oko olopa lasan, e fi riran!
Pabanbari re patapata ni wipe E GBADUA!!! E be Eledua ki o tan imole si gbogbo ibiti o ba sokunkun.
Bi e ba si aya tabi oko fe, o si sunwon. Bi enia ba si ile ya bi eniti o mu majele ti n pani diedie ni.
Oro mi o ju bayi lo. Ka tun fi ayo pade.
AV
O ti pe ti mo ti gbo 'God says..' all i hear these days are: 'papa says', 'Daddy says', ' according to the G.O', etc
Infact some worship leaders sef dey sing-praise their pastors during praise & worship.
Some recruit pastors even go as far as talking the way these leaders talk....copy their hairstyle, mode of dressing etc.
No wonder ti awon adari yin ns'iwa hu. Eyin le fa o. Eyin le ko ba won.
Erm...let me quickly check the definition of paganism in the dico.
Mo n pada bo.
For several years i have been treating toothpaste like bathing soap. Wash and rinse out thoroughly.
I only discovered that you only spit after you brush and not rinse. Rinsing washes away the flouride which is meant to protect your teeth.
So me feeling like some Albert Einstein who has just made a discovery that'll save the planet then proceeded to lecture my wife only for her to tell me SHE ALREADY KNOWS...and infact she doesn't rinse for Iremide.
Which Iremide?....the same boy i make sure rinses his mouth thoroughly while bathing him?!
Solomon Grundy,
Born on a Monday,
Christened on Tuesday,
Married on Wednesday,
Took ill on Thursday,
Grew worse on Friday,
Died on Saturday,
Buried on Sunday.
That was the end,
Of Solomon Grundy.
This story does not belong to Solomon Grundy alone, but also anyone who does not possess the annoiting needed to fulfill his/her destiny in life.
When the annoiting to take you to your next level is absent, the next thing that happens is that you EXPIRE.
There are several talented people whose destinies have been wasted and such indivividuals reduced to nothing. So you see in my short sojourn in life, i know of a fact that talent is not enough to succeed because you are faced with powers, forces, conspiracies, high-level wickedness who are assigned to frustrate and waste destinies.
There is no better way to put it- you need annoiting to fulfil your destiny in life. QED.
Jesus Christ was only able to overcome all forms of opposition and fulfil his mission on earth because of the power of the annoiting- Luke 4:18.
Jesus knew the importance of this power of annoiting hence he told his disciples to tarry until this power comes upon them, he knew withou this power they'll just be roaming about the street. And you know what happened when the power came upon them...
The idea of the annoiting we have today is the wrong one. The type of annoiting we see today are the 'rehearsed' ones where you shake your body and do one kain one kain while singing so that you look like you are in the 'spirit'. Iro nla!
So what i am saying in essence is that, the results you produce shows whether you are annoited or not....not the gymnastics you display.
Annoiting gives you the ability to function supernaturally. It gives you victory over oppositions. It immunes your destiny against the attacks of destiny wasters.
You need to cry to God to release upon you the annoiting to live up to your potentials.
Agbara o loun o nile wo, o n'ile ni o ni gba fun.
Awon omooba nrin nile, eru mbe lori eshin. Error nla ni.
Ma gba o!
AV
Thinking:
How can i be praying for blessing when my activity here on earth is different from the record they have of me in heaven?
Heaven's blessing is only upon such lives that are lived to fulfil destiny not those lived for the sake of survival.
Òrun ò laanu to ba ti di oro ayanmo. No amount of prayer and fasting can move the heaven to bless a life that is operating outside the ordained blueprint.
God is not deaf nor weak, emi ni mo ni lati align. Eda to ba ngbe igbe aye ti ko ba ayanmo re mu ko le ni abayo!
If you have not gotten past this stage you haven't started to LIVE.
Get up from your praying mat- go and discover your purpose because therein lies the currency called blessing.
Expert: Your Excellency sir, i'll be taking you through your answers in preparation to face the international media on the state of the nation.
Sir, the first and the most important thing you have to work on is your body language. This goes a long way in the whole process. So you have to appear confident. Sit relax. Look straight at the interviewer when answering. Never take your eyes off the camera.
Presi: Erm...bet why?
Expert: Because it'll appear you are lying if you don't. Eye contact is very important your excellency.
Presi: Na wa o. Issorait...i'll try sha.
Expert: Your Excellency, we'll move straight to the questions now.
Remember, you are god. You have the power in your hands
..so be firm in your responses and don't fall for any manipulation.
Presi: If i am asked about corruption what do i tell them?
Expert: Looking straight into the camera, in a relaxed but firm tone, tell them that the people are only over-reacting and mixing things up. Tell them the people are confusing stealing with corruption.
Presi: What is the difference?
Expert: Your excellency, explain to them that stealing is taking what does not belong to you and corruption is trying to cover it up. You run a transparent government so nothing is covered up. Also, nobody has stolen anything because the economic minister has counted all the money in the treasury and nothing is missing. Assure the international community not to listen to any rumour.
Presi (grinning excitedly): Hmmm...very good! Very good!
Can we have some break now. Let's drink something before we continue.
Expert: Your excellency can we just treat one more question before we go on break....
Presi: Youngman....cool down na. No rush...i need time to memorize this one.
Let's drink something....
(To be continued)
(Satan watching the Workers' rally on May 1)
The presi while delivering his speech condemned the World Bank's report which ranked Nigeria among the five poorest countries in the world as false.
Presi: ...Nigeria is not a poor country. Nigerians are the most travelled people in the world. There is no country in the world you go that you will not see Nigerians there.
During my recent state visit to Kenya, i participated in a programme organized for Nigerian and Kenyan businessmen to interact. The number of private jets that landed in Nairobi owned by Nigerians that day was a subject of discussion in the Kenyan media for over a week.
If you talk about ownership of private jets, Nigeria will be among the first 10 countries in the world. Yet, they are saying that Nigeria is among the five poorest countries.
There are some Nigerians who need help and they are given a certain amount of money and they would not even regard it important to say thank you.
If the same Nigerian were to travel to other countries and give such an amount to others, they would celebrate him forever...
After the speech satan started clapping...
(Mirudin speaking softly)
Mirudin: My lord sir can i ask a question?
Satan: Yes what is that?
Mirudin: What is the meaning of that 'Ph.D' they always write at the end of his name?
Satan: It means Portharcourt Degree.
