Finding happiness at all cost

(Koradini reading the newspaper and satan caught a glimpse of the headline)

Satan: Wait koradini. Show me that headline again...what does it say?

Koradini: My lord, it reads:

"If a married man is the one that will make you happy, please go for it" -Lola

It is a word of wisdom from one of the leading Nollywood actresses. She was advising the single ladies who are finding it difficult to get married.

Satan: ojigbijigbi! Did you call that words of wisdom? Koradini did you just say that?
Oya go down low.....kneel down there and raise up your hands.

(satan picks up the newspaper and started talking to himself)

Look at the lady sef how can someone this pretty be walking about with an empty skull? This God sef is amazing in His works o. Erm....but at the same time i don't think she was born foolish ....i think all these useless wigs they put on their heads don't allow fresh air to blow into their brain. Opolo eleyi ti bu kee!
She is indirectly advising single ladies to go and be breaking other people's homes ni kee! How can another woman's husband make you happy? Hmmm....no wonder they are just dying like fowls in that their entertainment industry.
But wait o.... Is she saying anything new? This thing has been happening now for a long time, atleast it is permissible in some religion and culture to marry up to 4 wives.....while so many young girls are chasing married men about or the other way round.
Hmm...everything is messed up.
Koradini, get up but next time mind your utterrances when you are around me.
By the way, check this lady up if she is enlisted in our secret service.

Koradini: Thank you my lord....i'll do that.

Congress meeting of the Prostitutes of the Republic of Nigeria(PORN)

(Koradini handed a tape to satan)

Satan: What's in this tape?

Koradini: My lord i was at the congress meeting of the Prostitutes of the Republic of Nigeria(PORN) and what you have in your hand is the recording of the president's speech while reacting to Kim's visit.

Satan: Ok play it let me hear.

(Koradini plays the tape)

The president talking:

"You have to be the best in everything you do. All these boys who take fonogau and alomo before they come ontop of you will wreck you. You have to step up your game and not die in as a local ashewo.
Since they banned okada can't you see that business have been so dull...isn't that a warning to you that you should step up?
Everyone is going international now...you too go international. Look at D'banj...he has gone global. See even whizkid...he's going global too. Forget this local runs where they sleep with you behind the kiosks o. It won't get you anywhere.
Look at kardashian who was invited into the country last week. No be the same work we dey do? No be the same workshop we get? How come she was paid $500k for 45mins? Who for here don receive dat kain money before? Even if dem carry you go till day break how much dem dey pay you? See her when she arrived with full police escort. No be the same police dey pursue us for here?
Why? Why? Because our parole is too local.
Even look at the babes in the universities who are non-registered members of this association but who are prostitutes like us, are they not enjoying more than us? Some of them charge as much as N1 million per night....and even more if they look like half-caste. It is all about packaging.
How many of you here have BB phones?
How many of you here have twitter accounts?
How many of you here know how to snap and upload naked pixs?
How many of you know how to make a hot-selling sex-tape?
How many of you here are IT-literates?
Do you want to die without the world knowing you?
If you think all i have said is not possible or cannot be done by me and you, just take a look at Cossy. How did she get the money to build the "playgirl mansion"? Do you think it is from the sales of the record she made with Obesere?
My fellow prostitutes let us think. It is an insult that in a country of over 150 million people, we cannot represent and they have to import somebody from abroad and pay her such a ridiculous amount?! It is indeed a shame.''

(Members clapping)

Satan: Koradini stop it! Stop it...i have heard enough.
Please get me cold water.

Our in-law is very 'Bance-some'

Babe: Mum, here is the picture of the footballer i showed you on the telly that asked me out and you screamed "that ugly thing?"

Dad: Show me the picture...je ki nri. (Screaming) who said he is ugly? Who on earth said this handsome gentleman is ugly? Did your mother say that? Omi ni àlè iya e ma mu ku.

Mom: Haha iwo omode yi o de fe ko ba mi? You didn't show me this picture kee! Am i blind? Would i have rejected this lovely man?

Dad: My daughter please arrange when you'll bring him. We want to meet our inlaw.

Positioning is much more important than hard work

You might be wondering why you are not getting the reward for all your hardwork. The reason is that positioning is much more important than hardwork.
It is not about how hard you are labouring; the question is are you labouring on the right soil? Are you in the right location?
There is nothing wrong with the land where you are, it's just that it won't work for you because you are meant to be somewhere else.

There's no speed on a wrong lane. Ma kan ma se wahala lasan ni ile ti ko ye ko wa.
If you get your positioning right, what would take others 10yrs to achieve will only take you 1yr.

This might just be the simple thing you need to do to breakthrough.
Go to God ko beere wo;

Oluwa nibo ni ire mi wa? (Lord where is my goodness located?)
Nibo ni ile ti yio gbe mi? (Lord, where is the land that will favour me?)
Dakun dari mi sibe. (Please lead me there).

Stop labouring on a wrong soil. Nothing will grow.

Holy Spirit: The best guide

One thing i pray to God for is that He won't take His Spirit away from me.
As long as i have the Holy Spirit as my guide i dey kampe.
Sometimes i take some steps or decisions which people might term as "super-dangerous" or "mega-stupid" and still get away with it.
Yes kee! Nigbati kii se àdáse. Once to ba ti je idari emi Oluwa ni, ko ni b'ewu de.
Àdáse lo le hun mi o.
Ikoja-aye lo le ko ba mi.
Aigboran lo le fa wahala
Imole Oluwa kii si enia dari.
Yes o le ma make sense sometimes, infact ko ti e ki ntete make sense ni nitoriwipe omugo Olorun ju gbogbo agbarijopo awon ologbon aye lo.
Apart from that gan, emi Olorun ma nje ki nwa a step ahead of situations. Ma ti ri 'expo' isele naa ko to w'aye.
Yes ko s'owo l'account but things still get sorted. This is high living.
Ore, no aspect of your life is too irrelevant to invite the Holy Spirit into. Anything ni mo pe! To wo wa gbadun e. Lol

Why are the youths dying?

Someone asked me why youths are just dying anyhow like mosquito, and i answered back that it is because:
"Won o fi ogbon gbe ile aye ni.
Won o te ile jeejee.
Won nte ile basubasu.
Ohun owo won o to won nfi gongon fa.
Won nle ile aye, won ti gbagbe wipe aye o se le ba.
Won korira ibawi, beeni eti won si di si ikilo.
Won ni ojukokoro, Ife aye si gba okan won kan.
Won yan alabaro èké fun ara won lati ma so ohun ti won fe gbo fun won
Won ma nse afarawe
Won si ma n tan ara won je."
These and many other reasons are why they will continue to drop off. Because if you run too fast, o di dandan ko end to soon.

So many people are counting on you

Opolopo awon enia ti a da wipe ki o ma se adari ni aye ti n se adari awon gan bayi. That is to say, a ti pa nkan da mo won lowo. Ori ti di iru.

I feel grieved when i see people living their lives as if their existence is an accident.
Won kan nrin kiri bi eniti o n ta ìfun eran. No purpose, no foresight, no fight, no desire.

So many people do not realise that there are so many destinies that are tied to theirs. If you don't succeed you will let so many others down.
Aimoye ayanmo lo nsukun nitori laise wipe ayanmo tire se, awon naa o le da nkankan.
Look, you are harming so many people by your wreckless living.
You were created to lift some up. You were created to be a blessing. You are spared till now to affect the lives of others positively.
Ko wa ye ko ma gbe aye e radarada.
Ko ye ko ma se afarawe
Ko ye ko ma hu'wa aibikita

Ogbeni o ye ko joko ko r'onu o.
Se aye e nlo ba se k'owe re?
No be fight i come fight you o, mo kan npe akiyesi re si bo se nlo ni. Ja ara e gba o! So ji!
Gbogbo ayanmo to ye ko ti ara e dide yio bere lowo re ti won ba ku lai da nkan to ye ki won da.